FADE IN:
INT. HOSPITAL BLOOD LAB -- DAY
Thirtyish WENDELL MOBLEY sits in a blood-drawing chair. He
is ordinary-looking, dressed in slacks and a tieless long-
sleeve shirt. He unbuttons his left sleeve and rolls it up.
SARAH CONKLIN, a crusty old phlebotomist, stands over him
holding a clipboard, checking his workup sheet.
SARAH
Says here you're not married. You
live alone?
Wendell nods. She sits beside him to begin her work.
SARAH (CONT'D)
That explains it.
WENDELL
What?
She starts putting a tourniquet around his arm.
SARAH
Why you're gettin' worked up for
anemia. Feelin' tired lately?
He nods again, then glances away as she reaches for a needle.
SARAH (CONT'D)
See plenty folks like you in here.
Think they dyin' 'cause they eat
nothin' but junk food, then come
down with weak blood.
She sticks the needle into his vein. He winces.
SARAH (CONT'D)
Want some good advice?
(he meets her eyes)
Kids can get by on that garbage.
When you hit your age, it's time to
grow up. Time to find a woman to
cook you some decent meals.
WENDELL
I do eat a lot of junk food, but I
never thought I was dying. I've just
been tired, that's all.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2.
She loosens the tourniquet and focuses on drawing and capping
two tubes of his blood. He glances away again.
WENDELL (CONT'D)
Isn't that Obadiah Thackery out in
the waiting room?
She removes the needle and puts a cotton ball in the crook
of his arm. He holds it there while bending his elbow.
SARAH
The Morality Crusade preacher? He
wouldn't come to a public hospital
like this. Big-money hotshots always
go to private clinics.
WENDELL
He's wearing sunglasses and a wide-
brimmed hat, but I'm sure it's him.
She reaches for the clipboard, lifts Wendell's workup sheet,
exposes the next one, studies it briefly, then SMIRKS.
SARAH
Well, well.... Looks like the high
and mighty Rev'rend Thack'ry better
get himself off TV and back to his
Morality Crusade's drawin' boards.
She shows Wendell the workup sheet as he rolls his sleeve
down, buttons it, and lifts a sportcoat from a nearby hook.
SARAH (CONT'D)
Court order for a paternity test.
(smirks again)
The Rev got a little careless diddlin'
a sweet thing with a good lawyer.
WENDELL
(amused)
That dirty old dog!
Sarah sticks printout LABELS on his two blood tubes and puts
them in an upright holder rack.
SARAH
Keep what I said to yourself.
WENDELL
(putting on sportcoat)
I'm sorry...did you say something?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3.
SARAH
(now she's amused)
Tell the good Rev to come on in and
start payin' the piper.
INT. WAITING ROOM OUTSIDE BLOOD LAB -- DAY
Sixtyish REVEREND OBADIAH THACKERY sits trying to appear
inconspicuous: patrician face hidden by sunglasses; thick
white hair covered by a fedora pulled low on his brow.
Wendell approaches him, struggling to suppress his mirth.
WENDELL
You can go in now, Reverend.
The Reverend jumps to his feet, full of bluster and threat.
THACKERY
What did you call me?
WENDELL
Uhmm....Reverend Thackery, sir. I
couldn't help recognizing you.
THACKERY
Young man, you are quite mistaken.
(skulks toward lab)
Mind your own damn business!
Wendell stands looking chastened, then breaks into a grin.
INT. BLOOD LAB -- DAY
Sarah puts labels on the Reverend's blood tubes as he prepares
to exit through the door. In an adjacent area, a PHONE RINGS.
She puts his tubes in the hold rack, then goes to answer it.
The Reverend hustles over to the hold rack to hurriedly swap
the labels on his and Wendell's blood tubes. Then he hustles
back to the exit door looking like he just dodged a bullet.
CREDITS PLAY WITH THEME MUSIC:
EXT. CITY STREETS -- DAY
Wendell cruises in his car, a nice-but-not-new Camry. He
smiles and taps the steering wheel to the beat of the MUSIC.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
4.
He passes several junk food havens and blows goodbye KISSES.
EXT. HEALTH FOOD RESTAURANT -- DAY
It is flagrantly health-oriented. Wendell pulls into its
parking lot, then gets out looking pleased with himself.
INT. HEALTH FOOD RESTAURANT -- DAY
Wendell gamely attacks a huge SALAD bowl filled with lettuce,
tofu, seeds, and sprouts. After his first couple of chews,
we know this lifestyle change will be tough to swallow.
EXT. A LARGE, MODERN WAREHOUSE -- DAY
A sign outside says: AMALGAMATED COFFEE BEANS. The Camry
pulls into a reserved parking space nearest the front door.
Wendell gets out and strides toward the door with vigor.
INT. WAREHOUSE OFFICES -- DAY
As Wendell moves through a large general office area, he is
met by several office PERSONNEL. Each requires his attention
to solve some small problem, which he does with a few words.
He finally reaches a door that says: MANAGER. He enters.
INT. WENDELL'S OFFICE -- DAY
It is tastefully appointed but cluttered with paperwork and
books--cases and cases of books that spill out everywhere.
He crosses to his desk and settles in his chair just as the
telephone RINGS. He leans forward to answer it.
CREDITS AND THEME MUSIC END:
WENDELL
Hello?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
5.
INT. A DOCTOR'S OFFICE -- DAY
DR. JEFFREY SHRIVER is middle-aged and dapper. He stands in
the center of his office space, practicing golf SWINGS on an
electronic monitor. He checks its readout after each swing.
Golf trophies and memorabilia cover his desk and walls.
INTERCUT between Shriver and Wendell.
Wendell talks into his hand receiver, while Shriver uses a
speakerphone so he can keep practicing with his 6-iron.
SHRIVER
Mr. Mobley, this is Dr. Shriver. I
just got a call from the hospital.
You have to come in right away.
WENDELL
Is anything wrong?
SHRIVER
We'll talk when you get here.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. SHRIVER'S OFFICE (SAME SCENE) -- LATER
Shriver now swings a 3-wood in the center of the room. To
his side, OFF CAMERA, comes the muffled SOUNDS of someone
heaving and gagging. A pause, then a TOILET FLUSHES.
Another pause, then the door to the office bathroom opens
to reveal Wendell, looking woozy and disheveled. He braces
against the doorframe as Shriver leans on his club.
SHRIVER
It's a hell of a thing to have to
face, Mr. Mobley...Godawful.
Wendell staggers across the room, reaches an armchair and
collapses into it as Shriver resumes his practice swings.
Finally Wendell speaks, angry, confused, and insistent.
WENDELL
Listen, Doc, this must be a mistake.
I've just been feeling tired lately,
that's all. Tired!
SHRIVER
(checks a readout)
It's all done by computer these days.
Like this. No chance of a mistake.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
6.
WENDELL
What? The IRS once said I owed them
three million dollars, and my bank
agreed with them! Gimme a break!
SHRIVER
Banks and hospitals are two very
different things. Trust me, your
feelings now are just the natural
reaction to such devastating news.
WENDELL
But, my God...only a week to live?
SHRIVER
A week on your feet, then a day or
two in the hospital and it will all
be over. Look on the bright side:
it's quick and almost painless.
Wendell gives him a sour look, then rises to go to the window.
INT. SHRIVER'S OFFICE (ANGLE ON WINDOW) -- DAY
He gazes out as if seeing everything for the first time.
WENDELL
What do I do now?
SHRIVER
That's another advantage you have.
There's time to get your affairs in
order...say goodbye to loved ones.
WENDELL
My affairs are in order. And I...I
don't have any loved ones.
SHRIVER
(stops in mid-swing)
Surely that's not true. Is it?
Wendell is uncomfortable with Shriver's probing doubt.
WENDELL
I was raised in orphanages and foster
homes; I've never been married; and
my friends aren't loved ones--they're
friends. Besides, I wouldn't inflict
this on anybody.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
7.
SHRIVER
(resumes stance)
Okay, then...have a final fling; get
wild and crazy; take a trip you always
wanted to take. Just be back by the
end of the week.
Wendell turns from the window, desperate.
WENDELL
Can't anything be done for me?
SHRIVER
Counseling...
(swings again)
I know a therapist who's supposed to
be a genius with terminal patients.
Wendell turns back to the window, staring out blankly.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. HOSPITAL PARKING LOT -- DAY
Wendell drives into the parking lot of a large hospital. The
lot's ATTENDANT stands in an open-sided booth. He's in his
early twenties and is full of zip.
ATTENDANT
Howdy, Cap'n! What it'll be today?
Short term or long?
Wendell stares straight ahead, unresponsive.
ATTENDANT (CONT'D)
You visitin' or checkin' in?
Wendell shakes his head to pull himself together.
WENDELL
Excuse me. What did you say?
ATTENDANT
What department you want, Cap'n?
WENDELL
The Death and Dying Center.
The attendant's face freezes for an instant, then his friendly
grin stretches wider than ever.
ATTENDANT
That's usually short term.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
8.
He puts a ticket stub on the Camry's windshield, then points
to a section of parking spaces.
ATTENDANT (CONT'D)
Right over there.
WENDELL
(pulling away)
Thanks....
ATTENDANT
No problem, Cap'n! Have a nice day!
And make it count!
INT. DEATH AND DYING CENTER -- DAY
Wendell steps into a cheerfully decorated, bright yellow
reception area. Sitting behind the front desk is MRS. ALMA
HAYDEN, a relentlessly efficient old woman who bolts out of
her chair and hurries around to greet him. Her manner of
speaking is crystal clear but HIGHLY ACCELERATED.
MRS. HAYDEN
Mr. Mobley! You look just like Dr.
Shriver said you would. Did you have
any trouble finding our lovely center?
He answers as she pumps his hand vigorously.
WENDELL
No, there were signs everywhere.
MRS. HAYDEN
We do that on purpose. People in
your condition shouldn't have to
waste precious time searching for
us. Don't you agree?
He starts to answer, then thinks better of it.
WENDELL
Umm....Dr. Shriver told me to--
MRS. HAYDEN
(interrupts)
Yes, of course! I won't take up any
more of your precious time with my
silly chatter.
She lifts a file folder from the top of her desk.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
9.
MRS. HAYDEN (CONT'D)
Take this to the end of the hall.
Dr. Melville is expecting you.
Wendell takes the folder and moves away as Mrs. Hayden keeps
motor-mouthing behind his back.
MRS. HAYDEN (CONT'D)
You came to the right place. Dr.
Melville inspires such...I don't
know...I guess it's a perspective
about the future. You'll see....
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE MELVILLE'S OFFICE -- DAY
Wendell KNOCKS on the door. No answer. He knocks LOUDER.
Still no answer. He turns the doorhandle, opens it a bit.
INT. MELVILLE'S OFFICE -- DAY
Wendell sees DR. CARL MELVILLE sitting behind his desk with
a book propped open in his left hand, reading. Melville is
not just old, he is truly ancient, though fighting back with
a cheap and obvious whole-head silver toupee. He reads through
quarter-inch-thick, cataract-necessitated glasses.
WENDELL (O.S.)
Excuse me.
The old man doesn't even twitch. Wendell raises his voice.
WENDELL (CONT'D)
Excuse me, sir!
Melville finally looks up and squints at Wendell through the
thick glasses. He lifts his right hand to jiggle a large
hearing aid attached to and wrapped around his right ear.
WENDELL (CONT'D)
I'm looking for Dr. Carl Melville.
I'm Wendell Mobley.
Melville clearly speaks, but NO SOUND comes from his mouth.
Again using his right hand, he takes a battery pack out of
his white medical smock. He RAPS it against the edge of his
desk, then tries again to speak.
This time SOUND does come after he mouths the words: "I'm
Doctor..." When it does, it is the tinny, electronically
WARPED words created by an artificial larynx.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
10.
MELVILLE
...Melville. Please, come in.
Wendell comes through the open door and closes it as Melville
puts the voice battery back in his smock. Then he closes his
left hand on the book he is reading. There comes a SOUND of
grinding metal, then the book snaps shut with a loud POP!
Melville tries to pretend nonchalance at the book clamped
tightly in his left hand. He reaches out his right hand,
which Wendell assumes means he wants to shake hands. He is
actually reaching for the file folder, so they do a bit of
awkward hand jive trying to get both actions accomplished.
In contrast to Mrs. Hayden, his speech style is deliberate.
MELVILLE (CONT'D)
It's good you came right away. We
can't start too soon. Tick, tick,
tick...time is wasting. So sit down,
get comfortable, and tell me how you
feel about what happened today.
WENDELL
(taking seat)
All I can think is that there's been
some kind of terrible mistake.
MELVILLE
(scans folder)
Don't think so. It strikes older men
as a rule, but stranger things have
happened. It's definitely 100% fatal.
There's no mistake about that.
(looks up)
So let's get started. Tell me, how
do you feel about death?
Wendell is taken aback for a moment, then he explodes.
WENDELL
It scares the holy beejesus out of
me!
(glances heavenward)
No offense....
MELVILLE
Excellent! Perfect place to start!
WENDELL
Look, you already said I'm short on
time, so can we skip the preliminaries
and get straight to the heart of it?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
11.
MELVILLE
Very well, Mr. Mobley. What do you
consider the heart of the matter?
WENDELL
Like I said, I'm having trouble
accepting it as real. It's like a
nightmare I can't wake up from.
Melville suddenly becomes animated, as if a hidden master
battery pack has been turned on at full power. He comes up
from his chair with the grating, creaking SOUNDS of mechanical
limbs, brandishing the book clamped in his left hand.
MELVILLE
Let me tell you something, Mr. Mobley:
we all need to wake up to the grim
realities of death.
Melville's left hand is a flesh-colored prosthesis that has
gone mechanically haywire. He struggles to unobtrusively
open it as Wendell tries to collect himself.
WENDELL
I know I have to get a handle on
this...situation. That's why I came
here. But I just never thought it
would come to...I mean...I'm only--
MELVILLE
(interrupts)
You think you're too young to die.
Thought you'd get to be an old fart
like me. Now you can't understand
the unfairness of it. Am I right?
Wendell manages to reply, but he's clearly distracted by
Melville's escalating battle with the balky hand.
WENDELL
If I had lived like...Alexander the
Great...or even James Dean...maybe
it wouldn't seem so bad. But I've
spent my whole life playing by the
rules...minding my own business...
keeping my nose clean. And now...
now I'll be dead in a few days!
(suddenly angry)
You're right! I am too young to die!
This is unfair! I hate it!
Now wheezing, Melville finally wrestles the book free of his
mechanical hand. He grins triumphantly, displaying perfect
dentures as he reaches for an oxygen inhaler on the desk. He
takes a few DRAUGHTS, then speaks through the inhaler mask.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
12.
MELVILLE
Everyone who comes here feels the
same way:
(removes mask, then
in a lilting tone)
'Wait! I'm not ready to go yet because
I never got around to living! I worked
hard, paid my bills, avoided trouble,
so someday I could enjoy myself.'
WENDELL
That's it! That's exactly how I feel!
Like I've been cheated! Robbed!
Melville moves to the right side of his desk with the awkward
motions and creaking SOUNDS of his mechanical legs.
MELVILLE
You have been cheated, son! You have
been robbed! But the great secret of
untimely death is: you did it all to
yourself! That's what everybody does!
It's human nature to waste our lives!
For emphasis he SLAMS his left fist on the desk's near side.
It hits like a sledge, collapsing the legs on that side. It
drops six inches, and everything on it slides to the floor.
That's the final straw for Wendell. He eases up out of his
chair and begins backpedaling toward the door as Melville
struggles to lift his crazed prosthesis off the desk.
WENDELL
I, uhh, have to be going now, Doc.
MELVILLE
Wait! We're just getting started!
WENDELL
Look, I thank you for your time and
advice and everything, but I'm parked
in the short-term area downstairs.
MELVILLE
Hell, son, you don't have to worry
about parking tickets anymore! You
don't have to worry about any of
those half-assed little annoyances!
(still struggling
with balky hand)
Don't you see? You're apart from all
that now! You're privileged! None of
society's threats or punishments
apply to you anymore!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
13.
Just as Wendell reaches the door, Melville finally frees his
left hand from the desk top and flings both arms overhead,
like an evangelist exhorting his flock.
MELVILLE (CONT'D)
Death has put you above morality!
For God's sake, flaunt it! Flaunt
it! That's the only way to survive
that horrible wait to the end!
Wendell can't get out the door fast enough.
EXT. THE CAMRY MOVES ALONG RESIDENTIAL STREETS -- DAY
Behind a hollow-eyed, self-absorbed stare, Wendell drives
through an area of modest homes, apartment buildings, and
condos. Sinatra comes on the radio SINGING "It Was A Very
Good Year". Wendell grimaces, then turns it off.
EXT. WENDELL'S BLOCK -- DAY
A residential street of somewhat faded glory, with homes on
both sides that are all a bit dated. They all sit well off
the street, which was the accepted style fifty years ago.
In the middle of one side is Wendell's apartment building,
flanked by a private home on each side. It is a large white-
stucco box a bit past its prime, but still reasonably well-
kept. It stands three stories high, four units per floor.
With no unoccupied parking places directly in front, Wendell
searches for one farther down the block. He finds a red zone
protecting a fire hydrant. He reacts to the lightbulb of an
IDEA, then executes a neat parallel park into the opening.
EXT. SAME SCENE -- CLOSER VIEW -- DAY
Wendell gets out of the Camry as a LOUD CLATTER approaches
on the sidewalk. He looks to see a TEENAGE BOY, 13 or 14,
riding a BIG-WHEEL, a low-to-the-ground plastic tricycle.
The boy is too large for what is basically a child's vehicle.
The big-wheel is old and battered, matching the boy's patched
and ragged clothes. He stops to speak to Wendell.
BOY
They'll tow it away from there.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
14.
WENDELL
They only give tickets for this,
don't they?
BOY
Tickets are for when you run somebody
down. This is a tow-away.
WENDELL
I won't need to drive much for the
rest of this week. I'll risk it.
BOY
Okay...it's your funeral.
Wendell's face twists at that stab of truth.
WENDELL
Aren't you too old for that thing?
The boy takes his turn being skewered by the truth. He starts
peddling furiously and shouts over his shoulder.
BOY
I'm poor, you jerk! I can't afford a
bike!
Wendell lifts a hand to massage his temples, then he looks
at the receding boy through misty eyes, muttering.
WENDELL
Sorry, kid....
EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING -- DAY
Centered in the facade is a portico flanked by two large,
well-trimmed azalea hedges growing up to the window sills of
the left- and right-side ground floor apartments. A 20-yard
walkway bisects a lush green lawn from street to portico.
Wendell traverses the walkway, then steps up on the portico.
He puts his key in the front door's lock. It won't turn. He
tries again. Still no luck. He suddenly pounds both fists on
the door, his frustration pouring out.
WENDELL
Not again, Mrs. Saxon!
A PEEPSLOT, not a peephole, opens in the door. Two beady
EYES stare out through the slot. They belong to MRS. MABEL
SAXON, the building's owner/manager. Her voice is MUFFLED.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
15.
MRS. SAXON (O.S.)
Who are you? What do you want?
WENDELL
For God's sake, I've lived here ten
years! You know who I am!
MRS. SAXON (O.S.)
He usually comes home later. You
could be some clever disguise.
WENDELL
Look, every time you see a slasher
movie on TV, you get paranoid and
change the locks. Every time you
change the locks, your tenants are
left holding keys that don't work!
MRS. SAXON (O.S.)
That's the whole point of changing!
WENDELL
(explodes)
Why can't you ever give us our new
keys before you change the locks?
MRS. SAXON (O.S.)
I shouldn't trust anyone, Mr. Mobley.
All the talk shows teach that.
Wendell sags forward like a deflated balloon. He rests his
forehead on the door and speaks quietly, utterly beaten.
WENDELL
Will you let me in now, Mrs. Saxon?
MRS. SAXON (O.S.)
He knows my rule about that.
WENDELL
Aww, for crying out loud, it's me!
You just called me by name!
MRS. SAXON (O.S.)
Hollywood could make ten of you in
an hour! I need proof.
Wendell takes out his wallet, removes his driver's LICENSE,
and tries to hand it through the open peepslot. She SLAMS it
shut in his face, which MUFFLES her voice even more.
MRS. SAXON (O.S.) (CONT'D)
Don't try any funny stuff with me.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
16.
Wendell SIGHS, stoops, and slides his license under the door.
He stands up, then the peepslot is reopened.
MRS. SAXON (O.S.) (CONT'D)
It doesn't look like you.
WENDELL
That's because I'm dying! Now, I
don't like to threaten you, Mrs.
Saxon, but if you don't let me--
He's cut off by the door opening to reveal a round-faced,
heavy-set, curler-encrusted WOMAN in her late-60's. She
maintains a perpetual smile of oblivious innocence while
holding his license, a new key, and his mail in her hands.
MRS. SAXON
Whenever I'm dying of hunger, you
know what I always crave?
She hands him his license, mail, and new key as he enters.
MRS. SAXON (CONT'D)
Twinkies!
INT. APARTMENT BUILDING -- DAY
Its center is an old-style OPEN AREA that was necessary before
air-conditioning came into vogue. It is twenty feet wide and
extends for the ninety-foot length of the building. It goes
up through all three floors, the second and third of which
have a five-foot-wide LANDING that wraps around the central
STAIRCASE. Its bottom flight faces to the front door, and a
rear door is at the back. It goes out to a narrow ALLEYWAY.
As Wendell enters, he tucks the mail up under his arm and
pockets the key, then puts his license back in his wallet.
Mrs. Saxon steps aside and motions to their right, to her
own ground floor apartment. Its door is slightly ajar.
MRS. SAXON (CONT'D)
Would you like a twinkie, Mr. Mobley?
Not breaking stride, Wendell heads for the central staircase.
WENDELL
Not right now. I've had a bad day. I
just want to lie down for a while.
MRS. SAXON
(remains effervescent)
Just as well. The other tenants will
be arriving soon.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
17.
INT. UP THE STAIRS TO THE SECOND FLOOR LANDING -- DAY
Flipping through his mail, Wendell climbs the stairs to his
apartment landing. He goes to the right-side, street-facing
apartment (of the four on his floor), unlocks the door with
his new key, and goes inside.
INT. WENDELL'S APARTMENT -- DAY
It is orderly, with spare, tasteful furniture throughout.
The LIVING ROOM has a couch, a coffee table in front of it,
a lounge chair beside it, and an entertainment center with
TV and stereo against the wall opposite the lounge chair.
As in his office, jam-packed bookcases are evident against
the walls. Here, though, they compete for space with several
prints of classic paintings by Escher, Monet, and Garibaldi.
As Wendell finishes checking his mail, the futility of doing
it suddenly impacts on him. He mutters to himself.
WENDELL
What am I doing? Mail doesn't matter
to me any more.
He shakes his head, deep-sixes the mail, then moves across
the living room to a large, vertical-paned picture window
that looks out on the street. He releases its center latch,
pushes it open wide, then sucks in a long, deep breath.
EXT. HIS POV OUTSIDE BUILDING -- DAY
The Camry still blocks the fire hydrant, while ANOTHER TENANT
comes up the concrete walkway. Wendell calls down to him.
WENDELL (O.S.)
She changed the locks again!
The tenant acknowledges that warning with a wave, then pulls
out his wallet and removes his driver's license.
INT. THE APARTMENT -- DAY
Wendell leaves the window and crosses the living room to the
kitchen, removing his sportcoat and tossing it on the couch.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
18.
INT. THE KITCHEN -- DAY
Wendell enters and flicks on the light. The bulb FLARES out.
He gives a low MOAN of disgust, then crosses in the dim light
to a drawer cabinet beside the sink. As he opens the top
drawer, there is a KNOCK on the living room door.
WENDELL
(mutters)
Please, Al...not now.
The knock REPEATS, louder. Wendell's eyes close and his head
droops forward. Then he SIGHS and leaves the kitchen.
INT. THE LIVING ROOM -- DAY
Wendell reaches the living room door as a lilting, sing-song,
childish VOICE comes from the other side.
AL (O.S.)
Open up, Wendell! I know you're in
there! I saw you come home!
Something slides under the door. Wendell stoops and picks it
up. It is the size and shape of a driver's LICENSE.
AL (O.S.) (CONT'D)
Don't worry, it's really me! That's
a very old picture!
WENDELL
No, Al! Not today! I'm not up to it.
I need a break.
AL (O.S.)
But it's important, Wendell! I have
a critical question to ask you.
Again Wendell is defeated. He sags against the doorframe as
he did downstairs, forehead resting on it, then opens up to
reveal huge, heavy-set, wild-eyed, bushy-haired AL BUKOWSKI.
Al is around 50. He wears black high-top canvas sneakers
(Keds), baggy khaki cutoff pants, an old tie-died tee-shirt,
and a child's bright yellow rain SLICKER with cut-off arms.
The rain slicker stretches tight across his broad back and
hangs to his waist like a stiff opera cape. As he enters, he
sweeps it with a melodramatic theatrical flourish. This is
how he does everything, with theatrical flourish.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
19.
AL (CONT'D)
I've been thinking about it all day,
waiting for you to come home.
Wendell hands back Al's license, which Al receives with the
reverence due a passkey to Paradise. Then, with Al dogging
his steps, he heads back into the kitchen.
WENDELL
Please, Al, not today. I don't have
the energy to deal with you.
INT. THE KITCHEN -- DAY
As they talk, Wendell fetches a new light bulb from the drawer
he opened earlier. He then retrieves a chair from the kitchen
table and stands on it to change the bulb.
AL
What if I visualize myself as a bird?
Really visualize it?
Wendell stops changing the bulb to glare at Al.
WENDELL
If you jump out, I swear I won't let
you back in.
Wendell resumes working while Al continues, undaunted.
AL
There was this man on TV today...a
famous tennis coach. He said that if
you visualize your swing long enough
and hard enough...
(executes forehand)
...you hit the ball perfect every
time. He said your mind can train
your body to do whatever it wants.
WENDELL
Al, believe me, you will never be
able to fly by yourself, no matter
how much you visualize it.
AL
That's not true!
The light comes back on. Wendell reattaches its cover.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
20.
WENDELL
Yes it is. That TV hype is for saps
who want to believe it will be easy
to take up tennis if they ever get
around to it. It's a total fantasy.
Wendell steps down off the chair, replaces it at the table.
WENDELL (CONT'D)
Okay, now, listen. It's time for you
to go back upstairs. I have to lie
down for a while.
AL
Are you tired again?
WENDELL
I had a really bad day today.
AL
How bad?
WENDELL
I had to turn Sinatra off.
That affects Al profoundly. He takes a hard look at Wendell
in the harsh kitchen light. When he speaks, all the petulant
lilt is gone. He sounds as sane and normal as anyone.
AL
Something's wrong, isn't it? Something
really wrong?
Wendell grimaces, then replies in a choked whisper.
WENDELL
My doctor says I have a week to live,
give or take a couple days.
AL
I've seen death before, Wendell...a
lot of it...in Viet Nam. You don't
look like death. You look scared.
(with conviction)
I think there's been a mistake.
WENDELL
That was my first reaction. But they
say the computer that found my problem
never makes mistakes.
Al grins and slips back into his original weird persona.
AL
Don't 'they' say people can't fly?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
21.
With that he turns and heads back toward the living room.
AL (CONT'D)
You rest while I go visualize.
Then we'll see what 'they' know.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. WENDELL'S BEDROOM -- DUSK
Like the living room, the BEDROOM is tastefully furnished:
bed, nightstand, dresser, work desk, and more book shelves.
Fully clothed, Wendell lies on his bed tucked into a fetal
position. A clock on the nightstand says 6:30. The portable
phone on it RINGS and jerks him awake. He lifts the receiver.
WENDELL
'ello?
INT. A BUSINESS OFFICE -- DUSK
Short, feisty, 40-ish MILT KAISER sits at a large, cluttered
desk. Pictures of him with mostly minor celebrities line the
walls around him. The decor is tacky modern.
MILT
Hey, hey! You're home! Great! Listen,
have I got a deal for you!
INTERCUT between Milt and Wendell as they move and talk.
Milt utilizes a speakerphone on his desk as he moves around
his office dropping small live fish into several aquarium
tanks. Each tank contains a single PIRANHA eager to feed.
Milt delights in the savage way they consume their meals.
INT. WENDELL'S KITCHEN -- DUSK
Wendell moves from the bedroom to the kitchen to scrounge up
some dinner. Everything in the cupboards and refrigerator is
either empty or rancid. He must settle for an ice cream
sandwich from the freezer, and a can of beer.
WENDELL
Whatever it is, I don't want any.
MILT
I'm not selling here--I'm buying!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
22.
WENDELL
Who is this?
MILT
Milt Kaiser, program director of
RSVP-TV...the cable channel.
WENDELL
You have the wrong person.
MILT
You're Wendell Mobley, aren't you?
Scheduled to die sometime next week?
WENDELL
(surprised he knows)
Yes....
MILT
Then you're my man! I want to buy
The worldwide exclusive rights to
your death, to show on TV.
WENDELL
Listen, whoever you are, this is a
pretty sick joke. Now, I don't know
or care how you found out about my,
ahhh, situation but--
MILT
(interrupts)
It's no joke, pal, and I'll tell you
how I found out. Six months ago I
called the Death and Dying Center to
tell them I was looking for someone
about to croak. Not too young, not
too old; not too glamorous, not too
plain. Average is what I wanted.
Next, I wanted someone who wouldn't
show up ugly on camera. No open sores
or gurgling breath or any gross stuff
like that. Clean was what I wanted;
a death with hi-grade visual appeal.
Last, I asked for something quick
and easy that wouldn't drag on and
on and cost a fortune to keep a crew
on duty around the clock. In TV,
time is really money.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
23.
MILT (CONT'D)
Anyway, I hoped there'd be a wife
and kids to pluck at the old heart
strings, but hey! A dying bachelor
must have angles hidden somewhere.
We just have to noodle it out a bit.
Wendell can't help being amused by his energetic caller.
WENDELL
Whoever you are...whatever it is
you're up to...you're really good.
MILT
Good? Hell, I'm the best! And this
gig is the one that puts me right
over the top. It's a can't-miss,
sure-fire set-up if there ever--
WENDELL
(interrupts)
I've heard enough. I'm tired, I've
had a bad day, and I want to eat.
MILT
Sure, okay! I'm sorry about calling
so late; I just got the message about
you. But now we're connected and the
show is greenlighted. My assistant
is making arrangements as we speak.
WENDELL
This is absurd. You couldn't show an
actual death on television.
MILT
I'm talking about pay cable here!
Absolutely anything goes. Trust me.
WENDELL
You can't be serious!
MILT
I'm always serious! You can't work
in television and not be serious!
It's cutthroat city...dog-eat-dog...
(focuses on piranha)
...fish-eat-fish.
WENDELL
Fish-eat-fish?
MILT
Never mind! Everything is arranged!
(MORE)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
24.
MILT (CONT'D)
I've already had contracts drawn up,
checks cut, caterers hired--the whole
enchilada! All I needed was the right
person to drop into the slot!
WENDELL
But to show someone actually dying...
God, that's sick!
MILT
No! It's drama without pretense!
Tragedy without fabrication! Soap
opera without soap!
WENDELL
It's subscribers for you, and I have
no intention of being a part of it.
MILT
Wait! You haven't heard my offer!
I've put together a package that
will knock your dick in the dirt!
WENDELL
Listen to me: I-am-dying! I'm not
trying out for some game show! My
life is almost over and I want to
end it with dignity--alone.
MILT
I can't let you do that, pal. You're
meant for bigger, better things.
As he says that, his ASSISTANT comes in and MUTTERS:
ASSISTANT
The crew is gathered and rolling.
Milt nods, never breaking verbal stride.
MILT
Tell you what, Wendell, don't give
me an answer now. Think about it
while me and my people drive over.
WENDELL
Don't come! I'm not interested!
Milt flicks the speakerphone off as his face falls into a
determined grimace. Then he gets up and rushes out.
DISSOLVE TO:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
25.
[MUSIC COMES UP: "Reflections Of My Life" by Marmalade.]
"The world is, a bad place, a bad place, a terrible
place, to live...ohhhh, but I don't wanna die...."
INT. WENDELL'S LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT
The room is unlit except for street- and portico-lights
washing in through the open picture window. Wendell sits at
the window straddling a turned-around kitchen chair. He takes
a last bite of ice cream sandwich, licks his fingers, kills
the beer, and sets the empty on the floor beside his chair.
EXT. HIS POV ON STREET BEYOND APT. BUILDING -- NIGHT
A police tow-truck hauls away Wendell's Camry. A squadcar is
double-parked near the hydrant. TWO OFFICERS stand with the
teenage boy who warned Wendell not to park there.
The officers pat the boy on the back, then go to their car.
The boy hops on his big-wheel and rattles away. Then the
squadcar leaves and the street falls silent.
EXT. STREET OUT FRONT -- VARIOUS ANGLES -- NIGHT
Two large VANS displaying the RSVP-TV logo careen around
opposite corners of the block. They double park nose-to-nose,
in front of the sidewalk leading to the apartment building.
Two other CARS--again one from each side of the street--pull
in behind the nose-to-nose vans. SEVERAL MEN scramble out of
every vehicle, and most begin yanking video equipment from
the packed vans: cables, lights, standards, cameras, etc.
Meanwhile, two TRUCKS arrive at opposite ends of the block.
SEVERAL WORKMEN jump out and place heavy sawhorse ROADBLOCKS
from curb-to-curb, sealing off the street. Then the trucks
drive away, leaving TWO SECURITY GUARDS at each blockade.
EXT. AT THE LEFT SIDE BLOCKADE -- NIGHT
A MERCEDES SL convertible rolls up to the blockade. In it
are Milt Kaiser and SHERRY COURTLAND, a beautiful RSVP on-
camera reporter assigned to cover Wendell's death. She gazes
with clear disdain at everything going on beyond the blockade.
The guards move a sawhorse aside so the Mercedes can proceed.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
26.
EXT. ON THE STREET -- NIGHT.
The Mercedes stops opposite the nose-to-nose vans, double
parking across the street. Milt gets out and hurries past
the vans, past the scurrying workmen, onto the street curb
in front of the building. Still showing obvious antipathy,
Sherry takes her time getting out and following Milt.
Milt joins two men waiting on the curb: ARNOLD CRAVEN, a 30-
ish, fastidious, gay lawyer who is Milt's chief sycophant;
and DR. BEN SELLNICK, a scruffy-looking, 60-ish physician
hired to monitor Wendell's condition until he dies.
EXT. ON WENDELL, SITTING AT WINDOW -- NIGHT
"Reflections Of My Life" FADES AWAY as Wendell stares in
stunned amazement at what he is witnessing. He bolts from
his chair and heads for the door.
INT. DARKENED LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT
Wendell yanks the door open to reveal Mrs. Saxon, stooped
down with her ear pressed against his keyhole. She wears a
bathrobe, with the hair rollers from earlier still in place.
She stands upright to face him, beaming her guileless smile.
MRS. SAXON
Be glad you have a landlady who
worries if your lights aren't on.
WENDELL
(flips switch on)
Some obnoxious people are here to
see me. I have to send them away.
Mrs. Saxon's beaming face becomes even more radiant, then
she turns and scuttles toward the stairwell.
MRS. SAXON
(trilling)
Oh, no, you doooon't! That's my job!
INT. LOWER STAIRWELL AND OPEN AREA -- NIGHT
Mrs. Saxon rushes across the open area well ahead of Wendell.
The doorbell RINGS. She erupts with a joyful aria.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
27.
MRS. SAXON
Goooooo aaaawwwaaaa-aaaay!!!!
She lifts the peep slot, gazes out, utters a sharp GASP. She
frantically unbolts the door, then whips it open to reveal
the RSVP entourage and its activity beyond.
MRS. SAXON (CONT'D)
I run a clean place here!
Milt, Arnold Craven, and Dr. Sellnick are taken aback by her
agitation. Sherry Courtland is still well up the walkway.
MILT
Uhmm...we're from RSVP-TV, the cable
channel. We're here to see Mr. Mobley.
Mrs. Saxon casts a terrified glance back at Wendell.
MRS. SAXON
Oh, my God! What's he done?
Wendell steps forward. Sherry is still too far away to be
noticed, but he checks out Craven, Dr. Sellnick, then Milt.
WENDELL
I'm Wendell Mobley.
Milt breaks into an incandescent grin, barges in, grabs
Wendell's right hand, and begins vigorously pumping it.
MILT
Wendell! I'm Milt Kaiser! Damned
glad to meet you! You don't mind if
I call you Wendell, do you?
He drapes an arm across Wendell's shoulders and steers him
farther into the open area. Wendell stops to shrug him off.
WENDELL
Hold on, Mr. Kaiser, I'm not--
MILT
Hey, we're friends! Call me Milt.
WENDELL
We are not friends! I don't even
know you! Now, I tried to tell you
on the phone, but you just--
MILT
Exactly! No commitment! I understand!
But couldn't we at least discuss it?
I mean, just so my crew can feel we
got a fair shot at making our case?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
28.
He gestures at Craven, Dr. Sellnick, and Sherry, who finally
arrives at the doorway. Obsequious Craven nods eagerly, while
bleary-eyed Sellnick looks uncomfortable. Then Wendell notices
Sherry...and everything changes.
His eyes bulge and his jaw drops before her stunning beauty.
It's every cliché of boy-sees-girl-and-is-knocked-out-of-his-
socks. Meanwhile, she stands looking annoyed and disapproving.
MILT (CONT'D)
Twenty minutes, that's all we ask.
You hear us out, fair and square. If
you don't like our pitch, we leave.
Wendell tears his eyes off Sherry to check on Mrs. Saxon.
She stares in wonder at the workmen unrolling cable and
setting up light standards, enthralled by the process.
WENDELL
Okay, twenty minutes. But I'm telling
you, my mind is made up.
MILT
Great! Where's your apartment?
WENDELL
Second floor.
MILT
Let's go!
Wendell reluctantly lets them move into the open area.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. WENDELL'S LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT
Sherry leans against the open picture-window frame, gazing
stolidly at the activity swirling on the lawn below. Lawyer
Craven sits in the lounge chair, nervously wringing his hands.
Grizzled old Doc Sellnick stands near Sherry, leaning against
the entertainment center, surreptitiously nipping at a flask
stashed in the medical bag he holds clutched to his chest.
Wendell and Milt sit on the couch with the large, oval, glass-
topped coffee table in front of them. Leaning forward, Milt
folds over the last page of the contract he holds, then lays
it on the coffee table as he sums up his presentation.
MILT
So, in a nutshell, that's the deal.
Wendell leans back on the couch, thunderstruck.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
29.
WENDELL
You'll give me $50,000 now, to use
in any way I want over the next few
days? Any kind of crazy flings or
splurges I can think of, as long as
I let your people film me doing it?
MILT
And $50,000 on the back-end, too...
as a bequest. Don't forget that.
WENDELL
(deadpan)
I was thinking about shacking up in
one of those Nevada brothels for the
entire week. Will that be okay?
Milt and Craven BLANCHE, while Sherry and Dr. Sellnick show
some interest at this turn of events. Craven snatches up the
contract to SCRIBBLE a note on it while Milt ameliorates.
MILT
Well, I'm afraid we have to maintain
some standards. I mean, this will be
going into people's homes.
WENDELL
Exactly my point. Men will love it.
Sherry and Sellnick smirk, Craven SCRIBBLES another note,
and Milt struggles to get back on top of the situation.
MILT
We want this to be a family affair,
Wendell. We want to give families a
chance to experience death in a way
they never have before. We want to
cut through the hype, the fear, the
mystery. We want to make it real!
WENDELL
What's more real than death?
Flustered, Milt turns to lawyer Craven for help.
CRAVEN
In modern society everyone is fed a
steady diet of violent demise through
movies and television shows. However,
those countless acts of carnage reduce
death to a mere parody of itself.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
30.
CRAVEN (CONT'D)
The innate dignity of death...its
role as a valid part of life...all
that has been lost. In fact, our
research indicates that 90% of the
American public has never actually
witnessed the passing of life.
Years ago, most people died in an
upstairs bedroom with every family
member--even children--gathered to
lend support. Now we die in faceless
hospitals and scandal-ridden nursing
homes...usually alone and frightened.
MILT
That's it! We want to bring death
back into the home, where it belongs!
Sherry suddenly speaks from her place at the window.
SHERRY
Don't forget all the terrific fun
people can have watching him try to
squeeze those final precious ounces
of life out of his last few days.
Wendell is startled by her caustic comment as Milt's huckster
smile fades. Doc Sellnick struggles to stifle a laugh, while
Craven leans over to HISS furiously in Milt's ear.
CRAVEN
I told you she was the wrong choice
for such a sensitive assignment!
Milt rises while forcing his smile back to full throttle.
MILT
Ummm...excuse us for just a second.
INT. LIVING ROOM (ANGLE ON KITCHEN AREA) -- NIGHT
Milt drags Craven near the kitchen for a hushed conference.
MILT
Look, didn't we agree we need sex to
sell death? And didn't we also agree
she's the sexiest thing on our staff?
Craven scowls over at her, his resentment obvious.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
31.
INT. ANGLE ON SHERRY AT THE WINDOW -- NIGHT
She has resumed gazing out the window in curvaceous profile.
Wendell has seized that opportunity to ogle her.
CRAVEN (O.S.)
In hetero terms, yes, she's fabulous.
But she's so damned self-righteous!
And she's not a team player!
MILT (O.S.)
To hell with being a team player!
Look at that face...that hair...those
legs...those tits...that ass! Without
her we have only half a show!
INT. THE LIVING ROOM (PREVIOUS ANGLES) -- NIGHT
Milt leads Craven back to the couch area to deal with Sherry.
MILT
Listen, Wendell, Sherry has some
legitimate reservations about what
we're trying to do. But she's also a
professional who will do her job.
He gazes hard at her, so all eyes turn her way, but before
she can reply, a loud KNOCK comes at the door. At that, all
eyes turn to Wendell, who is already rising up off the couch.
MILT (CONT'D)
Are you expecting someone?
WENDELL
The tenant who lives above me.
INT. ANGLE ON THE APARTMENT DOOR -- NIGHT
Craven is near the door and notices a license being slid
under it. He points at it and says,
CRAVEN
What's that?
Wendell stoops to pick it up, then shows it to Craven.
WENDELL
An old chauffeur's license. He drove
limousines before going to Viet Nam.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
32.
As Craven hands the license back to Wendell, another KNOCK
sounds, this one more insistent.
WENDELL (CONT'D)
Go away, Al! I'm talking business in
here! Important business!
Al's MUFFLED VOICE comes from the other side of the door.
AL (O.S.)
If you don't let me in, Wendell,
I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll
bloooooow the door in!
Craven looks questioningly at Wendell, who shrugs.
WENDELL
He's been 'disturbed' since the war.
Hearing that, Craven cautiously retreats toward the others.
OFFSCREEN a loud INRUSH of air is heard outside the door as
Al inflates his lungs, then a great whooshing EXHALE is heard.
Wendell opens the door to find Al standing there sucking in
another double-lungful. He waits until Al finishes sucking
in, then puts the license between his tightly pursed lips.
WENDELL (CONT'D)
You can listen, but don't talk.
Al deflates like a punctured tire, then swaggers in wearing
his outlandish get-up. In addition to the rain-slicker, he's
added a long pink SCARF looped around his neck, and a WWII
BOMBER CAP complete with padded earholes and eye goggles.
Seeing "new" people in the room delights and excites him.
INT. THE LIVING ROOM (PREVIOUS ANGLES) -- NIGHT
Wendell returns to the couch explaining the situation.
WENDELL
He loves attention, so ignore him.
Al stalks around mugging and making faces like an overgrown
five-year-old. Despite that distraction, Milt plows ahead.
MILT
I was just about to get into the
sponsor donations.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
33.
AL
Sponsor donations?
Milt doesn't know whether to include Al in the conversation.
He glances at Wendell, who is again looking at Sherry looking
out the window. He plays it safe and addresses Al.
MILT
New stereo and TV, new furniture in
here, new wallpaper, bedroom suite...
(Wendell reacts)
...the works!
WENDELL
What's wrong with this? I mean, it's
not the Ritz, but it's me.
CRAVEN
Nothing is really wrong with it.
It's just that name projection and
its associated recognition is an
intrinsic method of doing business
in today's media marketplace.
Wendell is baffled into silence by that burst of videospeak.
Sherry turns from the window to translate.
SHERRY
Companies pay Milt to show people
you use their products, then Milt
uses their money to pay you off.
WENDELL
I see...
AL
So do I!
Wendell ignores Al, whose behavior is becoming more bizarre.
He licks walls, hammers invisible nails, squashes imaginary
bugs, shoots down planes with ack-ack guns, etc.
WENDELL
Anything else?
CRAVEN
Two things: first, you get the full
$100,000--the spending money and the
bequest--even if you die before you
can spend all of the $50,000. We'll
add any remainder to the bequest and
give the whole amount to anyone or
anything you designate. And second--
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
34.
MILT
(takes over)
We've set your funeral at the best
joint in town. We want to make sure
it's done right: dignified; classy;
not depressing.
WENDELL
Funerals are the most depressing
things I know of. As soon as I'm
gone, I want to be cremated.
CRAVEN
Oh, nooo, Mr. Mobley! You can't do
that! Cremation is so...non-visual!
WENDELL
Immediate cremation is what I want.
I insist on it. Funerals just prolong
the agony. They make me sick.
AL
(sudden loud shout)
Sick! Sick! Sick!
Everyone except Wendell glances at him in alarm. When Wendell
pays him no mind, they quickly lose interest and Milt resumes.
MILT
Okay, you got me over a barrel.
Immediate cremation it will be.
WENDELL
Good. Now, one more thing.
MILT
(defensive)
Yeah...?
WENDELL
I want to tape a statement to be
played right after I go. Understand?
I die, the screen goes blank, I come
on for a short wrap-up. Okay?
MILT
A TV will! Sure! I get it!
CRAVEN
How Fellini-ish! We should have
thought of that!
AL
I love it!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
35.
MILT
Make sure you give it careful thought.
If you come up with something really
catchy...something like....
He draws a blank and snaps his fingers to ask for help.
CRAVEN
'I regret that I have but one life
to give for my country.'
SELLNICK
'That's one small step for man, one
giant leap for mankind.'
AL
Plaaaaay ball!
MILT
Nail it and you'll be immortal.
Sherry moves away from the window to examine the titles in
one of the book cases as Wendell replies wryly to Milt.
WENDELL
I don't think immortality will matter
much to me when I'm dead.
(turns serious)
On the other hand, helping people
gain better awareness of the process
of dying...maybe that's worth a try.
MILT
Damn right it is!
WENDELL
Then we're all set. Where do I sign?
Al suddenly runs to the open window, stops, braces his arms
at its side frames, and shouts at the top of his lungs.
AL
Sign! Sign! Sign!
Those in the room freeze, while the men working below look
up in confusion. Everyone waits to see what will happen next.
Al stands there, SNORTING and trembling, then his shoulders
sag. He turns back to face the room, plainly crestfallen.
WENDELL
Not tonight, huh, Al?
AL
There's no magic in the air.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
36.
Wendell turns his attention back to Milt.
WENDELL
Where do I sign?
Barely taking his eyes off Al, Milt indicates the contract.
MILT
Uhmm...right here.
Craven produces a pen, which he hands to Wendell. Wendell
signs the contract, then he glances over at Sherry. She
replaces a book she was holding and moves toward Sellnick.
While Wendell's eyes follow Sherry, beaming Milt rises from
the couch, picks up the contract, folds it, and hands it
over to Craven. Craven accepts it with unabashed delight.
MILT (CONT'D)
All systems go! Full speed ahead!
Craven nods excitedly and hurries from the apartment. When
he's gone, Milt turns to face Wendell. He pulls a CHECK from
his pocket and hands it over, still beaming.
MILT (CONT'D)
Here's the 50 G's. Don't spend 'em
all at once. And try to have fun!
Sherry and Sellnick exchange a LOOK of dismay, which Wendell
notices. He accepts the check with a clear sense of unease.
AL
(follows Craven out)
I have to go visualize more.
Wendell watches Al trudge out of the apartment. Then he rises
and puts the $50,000 check in his wallet while addressing
Milt, Sherry, and Doc Sellnick.
WENDELL
Folks, it's been a long, tough day
for me. I hope you won't take offense
if I trundle off to bed.
MILT
Not at all! We have a million things
to do to get this show on the road.
It's gonna be a loooong night....
DISSOLVE TO:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
37.
INT. WENDELL'S BEDROOM -- MORNING
Wendell wakes with a START to find his bed bracketed by video
equipment. On the left, six light standards; at the foot, a
studio TV camera. Muffled VOICES come from beyond the door.
He suddenly looks like a man who has just remembered he is
dying. He GROANS and buries his face in the pillow, then
forces himself out of bed and into the adjacent bathroom.
INT. BATHROOM -- MORNING
After his shower, Wendell examines his reflection in the
mirror over the sink. He checks his eyelids, his throat, his
neck. He stares balefully at his haggard reflection for the
time it takes to wrap a face towel around his right fist.
Suddenly, his dour expression changes to a grimace. He drives
a vicious right jab straight into the mirror. It SHATTERS
into slivers that TINKLE down onto the sink and floor.
INT. LIVING ROOM -- DAY
Now wearing different slacks, tieless shirt, and sportcoat,
Wendell enters the living room. He finds it being DEMOLISHED,
gutted to a shell of what it was when he went to bed.
A dozen WORKMEN are steaming the walls, scraping the ceiling,
and knocking out the hallway wall that connects the living
room with the bedroom. They are working at a frantic pace.
Most of the furniture is gone, and what is left seems doomed
to extinction. Another studio camera stands in the center of
the room, covered by a plastic tarp and surrounded by plastic-
covered light standards. His books are packed in boxes.
A stream of black cables snakes in through the open doorway,
with the door itself removed for easier access. Removing the
hallway will clearly give the camera more room to maneuver.
Staggering more than walking, Wendell moves to the kitchen.
INT. KITCHEN -- DAY
Like the bathroom, it is unchanged. Sellnick lies sleeping
on the table, curled in a fetal position, using his medical
bag as a pillow. Wendell leans over to shake his shoulder.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
38.
WENDELL
Doctor Sellnick! Wake up!
SELLNICK
Huh? Wha...oh...you. How do you feel?
WENDELL
Fine, but I--
After the first word, Sellnick re-closes his bleary eyes.
SELLNICK
Good! Let me know if that changes.
WENDELL
Wait! What's going on out there?
Mrs. Saxon will go berserk when she
sees what they're doing.
SELLNICK
The landlady? She's been taken care
of. They're letting her keep the new
furniture after you go. Now, please,
gimme a break. It's been a long night.
WENDELL
But...what are they doing?
SELLNICK
They're making your apartment more
'visual.' They want it to show up
well during the interviews they
scheduled for you this afternoon.
WENDELL
Interviews! What interviews?
Sellnick props his head up on his elbow to look at Wendell.
SELLNICK
Listen, let me tell you how it is
with me. I've been hired as your
personal physician because Milt
doesn't want anyone thinking he has
no sensitivity to the plight of the
dying...which he doesn't have because
he has no sensitivity to anything.
Now, I admit my job here with you is
a reprehensible way for a physician
to make a buck...but I'm a worn-out
old lush, so I can't be choosy. That
said, I do have the right to keep my
role within those specific parameters.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
39.
He rolls over, turning his back to Wendell
SELLNICK (CONT'D)
That means I want you to take up all
your non-medical problems with Milt.
Defeated, Wendell shuffles back toward the living room.
INT. LANDING OUTSIDE WENDELL'S APARTMENT -- DAY
Wendell steps through the open doorway as TWO MEN dressed in
stylish casual CHIC move past him into the apartment.
They are engaged in an animated CONVERSATION and take no
notice of him. He barely notices them.
INT. DOWNSTAIRS, THE FRONT FOYER -- DAY
Mrs. Saxon mans her battle station at the front door's
peepslot. She turns when she hears Wendell approaching.
WENDELL
I'm really sorry about the destruction
upstairs, Mrs. Saxon.
MRS. SAXON
(guileless as ever)
Don't worry, it's all taken care of!
Are you hungry? Want some breakfast?
He eases past her and reaches for the door handle.
WENDELL
No, thanks. I'd rather get out and
away from all this for a while. I'll
just take a nice walk to the cafe.
As the door swings open, flashbulbs start POPPING and a CROWD
of reporters, photographers, and bystanders begins SHOUTING.
CROWD (O.S.)
Look! There he is! It's him!
EXT. WENDELL'S POV -- DAY
Camera equipment is set up outside the front portico. Behind
that stand a dozen REPORTERS, twenty PHOTOGRAPHERS, and fifty
RUBBERNECKERS, all held back by a cordon of security GUARDS.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
40.
When they see Wendell they NOISILY STORM through the guards.
He is barely able to close and lock the door in their faces.
INT. THE FRONT FOYER -- DAY
Wendell presses his back to the door with great relief.
Insistent POUNDING and muffled SHOUTS come from outside.
Mrs. Saxon steps forward with a newspaper held out.
INSERT a PHOTO of him below a blaring FRONT PAGE HEADLINE:
LOCAL MAN'S DEATH IS TV FODDER!
MRS. SAXON (O.S.)
(pleased as punch)
It all about you! You're a star now!
Wendell stares at Mrs. Saxon with shocked confusion.
WENDELL
They don't know anything about me!
MRS. SAXON
(slight unease)
I helped them...a little.
He begins rapidly scanning the story, MUTTERING incoherently.
She keeps CHATTING, oblivious to his concern.
MRS. SAXON (CONT'D)
I told them what a wonderful tenant
you've been...how sorry we'll all be
to see you go....
(tentative)
....how you won't be getting your
security deposit back because you
didn't give thirty days notice.
Wendell suddenly looks up with eyes as wild as any animal
caught in a trap. Mrs. Saxon clutches her throat and takes a
frightened step back.
MRS. SAXON (CONT'D)
All right, all right! For a dying
man, I'll make an exception. But
please don't tell the others.
WENDELL
For God's sake, Mrs. Saxon! I manage
a coffee bean warehouse! Why did you
tell them I'm a CIA spy?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
41.
MRS. SAXON
Everyone knows the CIA uses places
like that for its business fronts.
It's been on all the talk shows.
WENDELL
But it's a lie! They'll deny it!
MRS. SAXON
Of course they'll deny it! That's
how everyone will know it's true!
Wendell is speechless with frustration. He jams the newspaper
back into Mrs. Saxon's hands, then stalks away toward the
stairs. She SIGHS happily, then returns to her peepslot.
INT. THE LIVING ROOM -- DAY
Wendell enters his apartment just as the telephone that used
to be on the coffee table RINGS. Now it rests on the floor.
He leans over to pick it up and answers very testily.
WENDELL
Hello?
A calm, pleasant male VOICE comes from the receiver.
VOICE (O.S.)
Wendell Mobley, please.
WENDELL
(still gruff)
Speaking...
The voice suddenly becomes LOUD and belligerent.
VOICE (O.S.)
You are pathetic, man! You hear me?
Pathetic! Only a pathetic, screwed-
up sicko would die on TV for money!
Wendell is stunned into silence for a moment, then he finds
the presence of mind to SHOUT back.
WENDELL
You're absolutely right!
With that he SLAMS the receiver down, lifts it off the hook,
then storms toward his bedroom.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
42.
INT. BEDROOM -- DAY
In it are the TWO MEN Wendell passed on the landing. Flaming
gay set designers FLIP and KIP are discussing camera angles.
FLIP
If we cut through the ceiling and
mount it directly above the bed,
we'll get a flush omnipotent view.
KIP
That gives it religious overtones.
Milt said to keep it nondenominational
with no religious overtones.
FLIP
A high-angle shot gives us nearly
the same effect. Let's go with that.
Kip notices Wendell and alerts Flip.
KIP
Hey! Here he is!
FLIP
Great! Listen, Wendell...
(points at book case
behind head of bed)
...we have a problem with that as a
background. It's visually boring.
KIP
See, when you get near the end, there
will be a great deal of camera time
aimed at that wall.
FLIP
So we want to busy it up a bit. How
do you feel about abstract collages?
KIP
They seem perfect for the context.
Wendell shakes his head in dismay and moves to the bathroom.
FLIP
(takes that as "no")
Maybe something impressionistic?
KIP
(condescending)
Overtones....
Wendell enters the bathroom and locks the door.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
43.
INT. BATHROOM -- DAY
Wendell sags against the door, angry and upset, MUTTERING.
WENDELL
Damned circus!
He considers, then makes a decision. He steps to the sink
and picks up a long SLIVER of broken mirror laying in it.
Gazing at the sliver, he drops to his knees beside the tub.
Grasping the sliver in his right hand, he extends his left
wrist over the tub. He places the sharp edge against the
thin wrist skin, then grits his teeth and closes his eyes.
At that moment a firm KNOCK comes on the door.
WENDELL (CONT'D)
Go away! I'm busy!
Sherry Courtland's VOICE comes from the other side.
SHERRY (O.S.)
It's Sherry. I'd like to talk to you
when you're finished.
Wendell reacts like he's been thrown a lifeline. He drops
the sliver of mirror, scrambles to his feet, then hustles
over to open the door.
INT. BEDROOM (HIS POV) -- DAY
Flip and Kip are gone and Sherry is on her way out. She turns
back to face him looking mildly skeptical.
SHERRY
I thought you were busy?
HER POV shows Wendell at the bathroom doorway, transformed.
WENDELL
I was! I mean, not like that! Anyway,
I'm finished now so you can come in.
RETURN TO HIS POV
SHERRY
Can't we talk out here?
Just then TWO BURLY WORKMEN enter and head toward the bedroom
dresser to remove it.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
44.
SHERRY (CONT'D)
I see what you mean.
INT. THE BATHROOM -- DAY
The first thing she notices are the mirror shards in the
sink. She gives them a good, hard look.
SHERRY
What happened?
WENDELL
An accident.
An arched eyebrow expresses her doubt, so he elaborates.
WENDELL (CONT'D)
I didn't want to watch myself fall
apart over the next few days.
He lowers the toilet cover and motions for her to sit on it.
He then takes a seat on the edge of the tub, exactly where
moments before he was about to end his life.
WENDELL (CONT'D)
What did you want to talk about?
Sherry gazes straight at him, speaking forthrightly.
SHERRY
I can't figure you out. You seem to
be so intelligent and level-headed,
yet you're buying Milt's line about
'bringing death back into the home.'
All this is really about is money,
ratings, and subscribers, in that
order. You only figure into it as
the means to achieve those ends.
WENDELL
I had just come to that conclusion
when you knocked on the door....
SHERRY
So why don't you call it off?
He considers in thoughtful silence for a few seconds, then
stands up to pace a bit in the cramped room.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
45.
WENDELL
Since I found out, I've been taking
a pretty hard look at my life. The
truth is, it adds up to nothing. No
wife...no family...no kids.... Zero.
Less than zero. A negative fraction.
Sherry is clearly impacted by his harsh self-analysis.
SHERRY
I'm sure you're only feeling sorry
for yourself. That's understandable.
WENDELL
Please don't patronize me. It's not
necessary. I am what I am. I accept
it. I've lived with it. But now it
seems I don't have to die with it.
SHERRY
Are you sure this is what you want?
He turns away from her for a moment. She gently presses.
SHERRY (CONT'D)
Go on....
WENDELL
For all the negative aspects of this
deal, there is one huge positive. It
gives me a chance to try something--
something very, very special--that I
wouldn't ordinarily dare to attempt.
It's a chance to reach out for the
stars...to just let go of everything
and grab for something way, way over
my head...something I could never--
His emotions choke him off, so Sherry picks up the slack.
SHERRY
That's good enough for me. I thought
all along this would be a horrible
thing to put anyone through, but
since it means so much to you....
(a beat)
....Well, I just want you to know
I'm with you all the way. You can
count on my total cooperation.
He smiles big at her while brushing tears from his cheeks.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
46.
WENDELL
I appreciate that...more than you
know...more than you can imagine.
This time it's Sherry who seems a bit uncomfortable.
SHERRY
Uhmm...we really should go back out
there now. Milt wants to talk to you
about some things he's been arranging.
INT. THE BEDROOM -- DAY
They move across the now-empty area--except for the bookcases,
the light standards, and the camera jacked up to a high angle.
While they talked, all the furniture was removed.
WENDELL
You know, I really haven't given any
thought to planning this last week.
SHERRY
(teasing)
What about spending it in a brothel?
WENDELL
(phony macho voice)
Awww, hell, woman, any real man like
me would consider that right away!
(resumes own voice)
Seriously, I haven't thought about
it...so would you consider giving me
your input over lunch? I'm starving.
SHERRY
(she stops)
That's a pretty smooth line.
WENDELL
It's no line; it's the truth. The
last food I had was early last night:
an ice cream sandwich and a beer.
She reacts as if he must be teasing again.
WENDELL (CONT'D)
Honest! They towed my car away, and
I didn't feel like walking anywhere.
SHERRY
Why didn't you cook something?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
47.
WENDELL
I've, uh, never been much of a cook.
SHERRY
Beer and ice cream? I guess not!
Clearly amused, she resumes moving toward the living room.
INT. LIVING ROOM -- DAY
Wendell's smile fades as they enter the stark reality of his
apartment. The tearing down is complete and the rebuilding
has begun: new wallpaper on the walls; the ceiling being
repainted; the torn-out wall providing new spaciousness.
Milt is engrossed in conversation with Flip and Kip, the set
designers, while Craven gives instructions to various WORKMEN.
Sprawled across a new, plastic-covered couch is Dr. Sellnick,
holding his head in both hands, sleep-deprived and hung-over.
Milt notices Wendell and Sherry enter. He breaks off his
conversation with Flip and Kip, who retire to the kitchen's
new coffee URN. He approaches them with his huckster smile.
MILT
Wendell, baby! How ya feeling?
WENDELL
Like I'm still dying.
SHERRY
We're on our way to get him something
to eat, so make this fast.
Milt REACTS to her authoritarian tone, then lets it pass.
MILT
(to Wendell)
I need to fill you in on what we
have scheduled for today.
WENDELL
I thought I was supposed to start
having crazy flings and splurges.
MILT
You are! Don't worry! But first we
have to get the ball rolling...beat
those drums...draw that crowd.
Wendell looks to Sherry for an explanation.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
48.
SHERRY
He wants you to do some promotion.
WENDELL
Why can't he speak English?
SHERRY
He's an executive.
Just then the phone RINGS. Craven steps over to answer it.
WENDELL
I want that left off the hook! Nut
cases have been calling!
MILT
Speaking of nut cases....
As Craven takes the call, Al walks in the open doorway, still
wearing his crazy outfit, complete with bomber cap, goggles,
and long pink scarf. He gazes around, grinning happily.
AL
Dying is fun now, isn't it, Wendell?
It was never fun before.
WENDELL
Come back later, Al. We're busy.
As usual, Al ignores Wendell and strides to the open front
window. He raises his arms in benediction as a ROAR goes up
from outside. Wendell looks at Milt in confusion.
MILT
We're picking up steam already!
Wendell moves over beside Al, as Milt and Sherry follow.
EXT. THE FRONT LAWN (WENDELL'S POV) -- DAY
An even louder ROAR goes up from an ever-increasing CROWD of
about 100 people being kept away from the building by a semi-
circle of wooden BARRICADES and a SQUAD of policemen.
MILT (O.S.)
See what I mean? You're a hero!
INTERCUT between the crowd and the window as Al seizes Milt's
cue and shouts down as loud as he can.
AL
Hero! Hero! Hero!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
49.
The crowd hesitates for a moment, then a few MEMBERS chime
in like a Greek Chorus. Everyone else quickly picks it up.
CROWD
HERO! HERO! HERO!
AL
I can fly! Fly! Fly! Fly!
CROWD
FLY! FLY! FLY!
AL
I can soar! Soar! Soar! Soar!
CROWD
SOAR! SOAR! SOAR!
INT. LIVING ROOM -- DAY
Al is totally energized now. He flourishes his yellow rain-
slicker cape while speaking to those beside him.
AL
Stand back!
Wendell does as instructed, then nods at Milt and Sherry.
WENDELL
He's got a heck of a wingspan.
Al FLAPS his arms vigorously, looking utterly ridiculous,
then suddenly LEAPS forward and swan dives out the window.
ANGLED UPWARD FROM BELOW WINDOW
EXTREME SLOW MOTION on Al as his arms flap, his pink scarf
flutters, and he slowly drifts downward. His expression is
sublime, serene, joyful. But as the ground draws nearer, his
expression changes to a comic mask confronting imminent doom.
INT. LIVING ROOM (ANGLE ON WINDOW) -- DAY
In real time, Wendell, Sherry, and Milt hear a resounding
WHUMP! come from below, followed by loud CLAPPING, CHEERING,
and WHISTLING from the crowd. Sherry and Milt are stunned.
WENDELL
He goes off on periodic kicks. His
latest is wanting to fly like birds.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
50.
Milt and Sherry lean out the window to look down.
SHERRY
Doesn't he get hurt?
WENDELL
I keep mattresses down there.
EXT. BELOW WINDOW (THEIR POV) -- DAY
Al's body is sprawled on a stack of old mattresses spread
behind the high, thick azalea hedge. He's out cold.
WENDELL (O.S.)
As soon as he comes to, he'll be
ready to do it again.
MILT (O.S.)
This is great! A flying fruitcake!
We can work him into the story like
we would a wife and kids.
INT. LIVING ROOM (AWAY FROM WINDOW) -- DAY
The phone RINGS again. Now Sellnick, still lying on the couch,
is closest to it. Craven calls to him from the kitchen.
CRAVEN
Doctor, would you please answer that?
Sellnick MOANS as he sits upright to reach over to it.
SELLNICK
Hello....?
A high-pitched, fervid voice SCREECHES over the line.
VOICE (O.S.)
The Ladies Auxiliary of the First
Brethren Baptist Church demands that
you stop making a mockery of the
holy sacrament of death!
SELLNICK
Sacrament....?
VOICE (O.S.)
We see the Devil in your midst!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
51.
SELLNICK
If he was wearing a yellow rain cape,
he just left.
With that he BANGS the receiver down, unhooks the wire from
the body of the phone, then lays back out on the couch.
INT. NEAR THE WINDOW -- DAY
Milt, Sherry, and Wendell have been joined by Craven.
MILT
The response so far has been great!
Calls are backed up at my office for
two hours. People are dying for a
piece of this action.
CRAVEN
Even the networks are calling. They
know this kind of innovative cable
programming will eventually sound
their death-knell.
WENDELL
Could you two please cut out the
references to death and dying?
MILT
Of course! We're sorry. It's just
That everything is working out so
much better than we expected.
SHERRY
(to Milt & Craven)
C'mon, guys, get to the point. Tell
him what you have to tell him so I
can get some food into him.
The two executives share a look that shows they realize their
problems with Sherry are over. For whatever reason, it's now
obvious she is committed to the project.
MILT
Sure, Sherry, whatever you say.
CRAVEN
(to Wendell)
Our first priority is the network
interviews we've arranged for this
afternoon at 1:30. That way you'll
be on tonight's national newscasts.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
52.
MILT
After those interviews, you have a
couple hours to rest up and get ready
for the debate over at our studio.
That kicks off at 4:30.
CRAVEN
Before a live audience!
WENDELL
You better cancel that part. I've
never debated anyone, and I won't be
starting in front of an audience!
MILT
Just be yourself! You're a natural!
Besides, it's more of a question-and-
answer session than a debate.
WENDELL
But I don't want to do it!
CRAVEN
It's quite necessary, Mr. Mobley.
Miss Courtland will moderate a
discussion between you and three
representatives of pressure groups
who oppose what we're doing. If you
don't confront and neutralize them,
they can create serious trouble.
Again Wendell looks to Sherry for clarification.
SHERRY
They're hoping you can squelch the
opposition before they have a chance
to mobilize against you. And it is
something you should do. But don't
worry, I'll ease you through it.
MILT
Once these few things are out of the
way...once people know who you are
and what we're trying to do with
your death...your time is your own.
Wendell nods assent, then turns to Sherry.
WENDELL
Now I'm really hungry. Can we go?
She takes his arm and they move away as Milt and Craven smirk
at each other. They have everything under control. Then Milt
calls out as Wendell and Sherry reach the open doorway.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
53.
MILT
Hey! Leave by the rear exit! You'll
never get past that crowd out front!
A fleeting wave by Wendell shows the message got through.
EXT. REAR OF APT. BUILDING -- DAY
The building's back door exits to a cross-street alley. The
alley grants access to the building from two side streets.
Twenty or so REPORTERS and PHOTOGRAPHERS lurk nearby.
When Wendell and Sherry step from the back door, photographers
start SNAPPING while reporters HURL questions. At first she
tries to hustle him past them, but they follow like a pack
of YAPPING hounds. Finally she turns on them and SHOUTS.
SHERRY
Will you please give this poor man a
break? He's having a hard enough
time as it is!
REPORTER #1
We have to do our jobs!
REPORTER #2
Just a few questions!
REPORTER #3
You know how it is!
REPORTER #4
You're one of us!
Sherry turns to look guiltily at Wendell. He leans close to
her and MUTTERS in her ear.
WENDELL
I met a very old man yesterday who
told me how to deal with situations
like this. I think I can handle it.
(to reporters)
What do you want to know?
REPORTER #5
How does it make you feel, being the
first person to die on TV for money?
WENDELL
Like the kids who come out of college
and sign big pro sports contracts.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
54.
REPORTER #6
(confused)
Could you elaborate on that?
WENDELL
I want to buy a lot of expensive
junk, and do every drug there is.
SHERRY
(alarmed)
He's kidding! Don't print that!
WENDELL
She's right. Drugs might kill me.
Sherry does a double-take at Wendell, then starts to grin.
REPORTER #7
What do your bosses at the CIA think
about what you're doing?
WENDELL
They hope the spectacle of one of
their agents dying on TV will get
Congress off their backs once and
for all. That's the plan, anyway.
REPORTER #8
Are you doing this for the money,
the publicity, or both?
WENDELL
Since money is at the root of all
activity in capitalist societies,
I'd have to say it's the money.
(a beat)
Then again, the publicity is nice.
REPORTER #9
In your own words, could you tell us
exactly what's going on here?
WENDELL
Sure...crass media commercialism
taken to its ultimate expression.
At that Sherry steps between the reporters and Wendell.
SHERRY
Okay, you got what you asked for.
Now will you give him a break?
She takes Wendell by the arm to move him through the pack.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
55.
INT. SHERRY'S BMW SEDAN -- DAY
Sherry drives as she and Wendell converse.
SHERRY
You handled those reporters really
well. All that reading you do has
certainly paid dividends.
WENDELL
(a bit uncomfortable)
Books were my best friends when I
was growing up. I still like them.
SHERRY
(hesitant)
You were an orphan, weren't you?
Wendell's head whips around. She can see his concern.
SHERRY (CONT'D)
I'm sorry. Milt told everyone.
He sags back into his seat, staring out the window.
SHERRY (CONT'D)
What's so bad about being an orphan?
WENDELL
(after a pause)
It's a hell of a way to be raised.
Just about the time you learn a new
zip code, wham! Off to a different
orphanage or foster home.
You can't afford to make friends
...can't get close to anybody. You
learn to rely on nothing but yourself
...and things you know can't hurt
you--like books.
SHERRY
Left some pretty deep scars, huh?
WENDELL
About as deep as they come.
(a beat)
Want to know how I got through it?
She glances at him, NODS deliberately.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
56.
WENDELL (CONT'D)
By continually saying to myself:
'When you grow up, things will get
better.' I really convinced myself
that was true. But guess what? It
wasn't. Things got worse.
I was too poor and too emotionally
short-changed to try college, so I
ended up taking a job as a forklift
operator in a coffee bean warehouse.
That was almost as bad as orphanages
and foster homes, so I kept telling
myself, 'If you do good work at this,
things will surely get better.'
So I worked hard and slowly climbed
up the job ladder at that warehouse.
Now I'm its manager. I'm making decent
money...thinking about buying a house
in a nicer part of town...maybe doing
some traveling.... And what happens?
SHERRY
Things got worse again?
WENDELL
Worse? Christ! I'm dying!
Sherry struggles not to LAUGH, but when she gets a glimpse
of his exasperated expression she just can't hold back. Her
reaction illustrates the sheer absurdity of his situation,
so he can't help but join her in a convulsion of GIGGLES.
EXT. A FRENCH RESTAURANT -- DAY
It's a small, elegant bistro, tucked away off the street.
Sherry's BMW rolls into a slot in the mostly empty parking
lot. She and Wendell get out, TALKING animatedly as they
make their way from the car to the restaurant's entrance.
SHERRY
You manage a coffee bean warehouse
now, and you worked your way up to
that by operating a forklift. So
when did you work for the CIA?
WENDELL
I never worked for them.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
57.
SHERRY
But it's in all the papers! You
answered that reporter's question!
WENDELL
They should have checked it out. My
landlady made that up.
SHERRY
Why?
WENDELL
I guess because she doesn't know
much about me or my personal life.
I'm not close to anyone except Al,
who never asks me about my past.
As they reach the restaurant entrance, she meets his eyes.
SHERRY
Why are you telling me about it?
WENDELL
My secrets don't matter any more.
She glances away uneasily as he opens the front door.
INT. FRENCH RESTAURANT -- DAY
As they step into the waiting area, an energetic maitre d'
hurries over. Frenchman MARCEL DUBOIS is in his late 50's.
He greets Sherry with an effusive kiss on each cheek.
MARCEL
Bon jour, Sher-ree! Bon jour!
SHERRY
It's great to see you again, Marcel!
MARCEL
It's been months!
(suddenly serious)
Are you well? Are you strong again?
SHERRY
Yes, I'm strong again...I'm well.
MARCEL
Such good news! You make me so happy!
Sherry smiles her appreciation, then turns to introduce
Wendell. He has observed their greeting with a bemused air.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
58.
SHERRY
Marcel, this is Wendell Mobley.
Wendell...Marcel Dubois.
Marcel extends a hand behind a big smile and a crisp nod.
MARCEL
Monsieur.
WENDELL
My pleasure.
SHERRY
We need a place out of the public
eye. Wendell has become the center
of some, ahh, unwanted attention.
MARCEL
(serious again)
I have read about it. So sorry...
INT. DINING ROOM OF RESTAURANT -- DAY
Tactfully leaving the matter there, Marcel leads them through
an empty dining room to a booth in an out-of-the-way corner.
As they move along, Sherry mentions the lack of customers.
SHERRY
Looks like we're early for lunch.
MARCEL
Yes, we have only just opened. You
should enjoy your meal in peace.
INT. THE BOOTH -- DAY
They reach the booth and Marcel seats them.
SHERRY
That's good. Wendell is quite hungry.
WENDELL
Starving, as a matter of fact.
MARCEL
Then would you allow me to choose
for you both a superb brunch? It
will be a great pleasure for me.
SHERRY
Trust him, he's a genius with food.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
59.
WENDELL
You're on!
Marcel bows and vanishes like mist.
WENDELL (CONT'D)
You have excellent taste in
restaurants...and friends.
For a few seconds, Sherry is lost inside a pleasant memory.
Then, in the space of a heartbeat, her wistful expression
transforms into a FROWN. She becomes stiff and formal.
SHERRY
I was taught how to choose both.
WENDELL
By who? Your parents?
She shakes her head but says nothing more. He takes the hint.
WENDELL (CONT'D)
Okay, then, new subject. What was
that about you being strong again,
being well. Have you been sick?
She leans forward and speaks with grim intensity.
SHERRY
Listen...I like you...I really do.
But I don't know you well enough to
be telling you my personal history.
She reaches a hand across the table to rest on one of his.
SHERRY (CONT'D)
Please don't take that as a rejection.
WENDELL
It sure sounded like a rejection.
He glances around as if there is something in the air.
WENDELL (CONT'D)
Must be the acoustics in here.
Sherry can't help LAUGHING as Marcel arrives with a bottle
of WINE and an elegant corkscrew.
MARCEL
I see Mr. Mobley has not lost his
sense of humor.
SHERRY
He certainly hasn't!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
60.
WENDELL
Well, everyone says humor is the
best medicine money can't buy.
Their smiles become a bit uneasy as Marcel opens the bottle.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. SAME SCENE AT BOOTH (LATER) -- DAY
The meal is winding down. The wine bottle is empty and plates
are cleaned. Wendell and Sherry lean across the table, drawn
close to each other by the intensity of their conversation.
WENDELL
Wait a minute. I don't understand
your problem. If you love the work
you're doing, and you only hate to
be stuck working for Milt, why not
quit and go to work someplace else?
SHERRY
Because I'm new to broadcasting and
I'm starting late...pushing thirty.
So I'm actually lucky to have this
godforsaken job, which I only got
because of the way I look. I don't
have the credentials to do better.
Wendell considers her dilemma, then sees the obvious solution.
WENDELL
You will after this.
She reaches out again, this time taking his hands in hers.
SHERRY
I would give anything if that wasn't--
She cuts herself off and pulls her hands back as Marcel
appears to remove the empty dishes. He addresses Wendell.
MARCEL
Do you wish a dessert?
WENDELL
If I take one more bite, you'll be
reading my obituary a week early!
MARCEL
(misses the irony)
Ahhhh...then you enjoy my brunch?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
61.
WENDELL
Enjoy? Marcel, that was the best--
and I mean the very best--meal I
have ever had in my entire life.
SHERRY
I told you he was a genius with food.
WENDELL
(gazes at Sherry)
It wasn't just the food. The whole
experience was absolute perfection.
SHERRY
(a bit flustered)
If that's a compliment, thank you.
WENDELL
A compliment? Are you kidding? It's
worship...plain and simple.
Marcel and Sherry exchange looks of vague discomfort as she
strains to keep smiling politely.
EXT. ALLEY BEHIND APT. BUILDING (FOCUS ON BMW) -- DAY
Now a LARGER CROWD of reporters and photographers is waiting.
Sherry turns the BMW into the alley, sees them, and stops.
SHERRY
Damn! How will you get past so many?
WENDELL
You mean we, don't you?
SHERRY
I mean you. I have to go to the studio
to help arrange the panel debate.
WENDELL
Can I tag along?
SHERRY
You have to do the network interviews.
WENDELL
All right...okay. We can get back
together after the debate.
Sherry stops focusing on the crowd to look hard at him.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
62.
SHERRY
Listen, Wendell...since we left the
restaurant, you've given me a half-
dozen hints that you want to try to
get something going with me.
(pressing)
Is that what you're trying to do?
WENDELL
Well...sort of.
SHERRY
But you hardly even know me! And
you're sick on top of that!
WENDELL
I'm not contagious!
SHERRY
That's not the point!
WENDELL
What is the point?
The discussion is escalating into an argument, so they stop
it. He breaks the silence in an anguished tone.
WENDELL (CONT'D)
Look, I'm sorry, but when you know
you're dying in a week, things have
a way of speeding up on you.
(a beat)
It's just that I already know how
much I like you, so I want to spend
whatever time I have left with you.
SHERRY
What about my feelings?
WENDELL
You said you liked me, too!
SHERRY
I do! You're witty and bright and
charming...I like you a lot.
WENDELL
Well if we like each other so much,
what's the problem?
She shakes her head, still resisting, and takes another tack.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
63.
SHERRY
Listen, if it's just mainly sex you
want...some kind of last-wish gallows
thing...maybe we can work something--
WENDELL
(interrupts)
No! It's not that! I mean, it's not
entirely that. I mean, it's not that
I don't want to...ahhh...
He fades into silent frustration as she leans over to give
him a brief, delicate KISS on the cheek.
SHERRY
I am so flattered--no, humbled--I'm
humbled by all this, Wendell. But I
really can't do what you want me to
do...or be what you want me to be.
WENDELL
Why not?
SHERRY
Because I just can't give myself--my
heart and spirit and body--to a man
who will be taken from me in a few
days! Can't you see what that would
do to me? What it would do to anyone?
He nods dejectedly, then hurriedly exits the car. As he stalks
away, Sherry angrily SLAMS her palms onto the steering wheel.
EXT. ALLEY AT REAR OF APT. BUILDING -- DAY
As Wendell approaches the CROWD, one of them notices him.
REPORTER #1
Hey, look! It's him!
They rush to meet him as a JABBERING THRONG. Wendell lifts
both hands and calls for silence.
WENDELL
Hold it! Hold it! Just hold it right
there and quiet down.
Since he's not trying to get away or resist their entreaties,
the reporters become QUIET while the photographers continue
SNAPPING away as unobtrusively as possible.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
64.
WENDELL (CONT'D)
I understand how this works now, so
hear me out. I'm gonna walk straight
to that door over there, answering
questions the whole way--no more, no
less. Everyone got that?
The crowd is undecided for a moment, but then a few NOD
agreement. Wendell NODS back and takes his first step.
WENDELL (CONT'D)
Okay...start.
REPORTER #2
What do you think about the odds Las
Vegas is giving?
Wendell stops and the crowd does likewise.
REPORTER #2 (CONT'D)
Bookies have established a betting
line on the day and hour you'll die.
How do you feel about that?
Wendell starts walking again and the crowd follows.
WENDELL
Like a ballgame, I suppose.
REPORTER #3
Have you decided how you'll be
spending your last few days?
WENDELL
Mostly going waaaay over the limits
on my credit cards.
REPORTER #4
Are you worried at all about meeting
your Maker?
WENDELL
Not really. I hear He's a nice guy.
REPORTER #5
When you reach the Pearly Gates,
what's the first thing you'll say?
WENDELL
(nearing door)
'Where's the complaint department?'
REPORTER #6
What would be your advice to the
youth of America?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
65.
WENDELL
(puts key in lock)
Give up your dreams now and accept
the final realities of white paint,
frozen food, and dirty diapers.
(goes inside)
See you later.
INT. WENDELL'S LIVING ROOM -- DAY
The room is now totally transformed. The ceiling sparkles,
the walls are beautifully floral and hung with big abstract
prints, and the furniture is Danish modern. In no way does
it resemble the modest place Wendell used to call home.
Instead of the workmen there before, THREE NEW MEN in orange
jumpsuits with the RSVP-TV logo on their backs are playing
cards beyond the living room, at the kitchen table.
NINE OTHER MEN in casual clothes stand sipping drinks at a
catered WET BAR set up beside the kitchen entrance. They
nibble finger sandwiches laid out on one end of the bar.
As Wendell walks in, everyone is engaged in conversation.
Only Dr. Sellnick notices his entrance. He hustles over,
drink in hand, to pull Wendell aside past three piles of
hand-held video equipment lying scattered on the floor.
SELLNICK
I have some major news for you: your
death might be called off.
WENDELL
You mean it was a mistake!
SELLNICK
No! Nothing like that! Twenty minutes
ago the ACLU slapped a restraining
order on Milt.
WENDELL
Oh.... Well, too bad.
SELLNICK
Too bad? Don't you even care? If
Craven can't come up with a counter
angle, then the whole show is dead!
(realizes his mistake)
Uhhh...no offense.
WENDELL
None taken.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
66.
He gazes around at the new strangers.
WENDELL (CONT'D)
Who are all these people?
SELLNICK
The guys in the orange jumpsuits are
RSVP's on-site camera crew: soundman,
lightman, operator. All good guys.
The ones in jeans and tees are network
technicians. They're waiting for the
local news anchors to show up and do
the interviews they scheduled.
WENDELL
Where's Milt?
SELLNICK
In your bedroom with Craven.
(off Wendell's look)
Talking things over with the ACLU.
INT. LIVING ROOM (FOCUS ON OLD HALLWAY AREA) -- DAY
Milt and Craven barge into what is left of the hallway leading
to the bedroom. Craven says a final few words into his cell
phone, while Milt is positively radiant.
MILT
Hey, Wendell! You're back right on
time! How was lunch?
Wendell and Sellnick move over to join Milt and Craven.
WENDELL
Great. Is my death being canceled?
MILT
Naahhh! But some ACLU creeps tried
to put a legal gimmick over on us.
(mincing, high-pitched)
'Ohhwww, we have to preserve the
innate dignity of human death'!
(sourly)
You never heard such bullshit.
SELLNICK
What happened?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
67.
MILT
Arnold shoved the First Amendment
right down their friggin' throats!
CRAVEN
An elemental exercise....
WENDELL
So what's the bottom line?
MILT
No more legal hassles. We're on track.
CRAVEN
This afternoon's debate will be
transmitted live in its entirety.
Then, at seven tonight, we'll begin
periodic updates that will follow
your progress until the very end.
The end itself will be covered non-
stop, like celebrity murder trials,
or political conventions, or other
events of cultural significance.
Milt is giddy from gloating over the beauty of it all.
MILT
'Cultural significance'! Don't you
just love it? The guy is a genius!
Craven's cell phone RINGS. Milt silently excuses himself and
Craven so they can return to the bedroom to talk in private.
WENDELL
(to Sellnick)
I need a drink.
SELLNICK
Gotcha....
INT. ANGLE ON WET BAR (TOWARD KITCHEN) -- DAY
Wendell and Sellnick move to the far end of the wet bar so
they can be by themselves. They talk quietly but intently.
WENDELL
Doc, I've got a big problem.
SELLNICK
You're tellin' me!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
68.
WENDELL
No, not that! I don't want to go out
peacefully any more...not on TV or
anyplace else. I want to fight it.
SELLNICK
Why the change of heart?
WENDELL
I'm in love.
SELLNICK
Yep, that'll do it.
WENDELL
It will? It'll help me?
SELLNICK
No, no! It'll knock you right off
your rocker, that's all.
Wendell's hopes are dashed, so he pops a beer and slugs it.
SELLNICK (CONT'D)
Who's to blame for this wretched
turn of events? Miss Courtland?
Wendell doesn't answer, making the answer obvious.
SELLNICK (CONT'D)
Can't say I blame you. If I could
still get mine up, I'd think about
her while abusing myself.
WENDELL
I appreciate your honesty, but I
need more than that. I need a name.
SELLNICK
What kind of name?
WENDELL
Someone to contact. I want to try
whatever experimental program there
is for treating what I have. Now,
think for a minute....
Who steals spare parts from operating
rooms in this town? Who's down in a
basement somewhere creating a real
Frankenstein? That's who I want!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
69.
SELLNICK
Wendell...not even faith healers
pretend they can cure what you have.
WENDELL
Yesterday I saw an old, old doctor
at the Death and Dying Center, and
all he was was artificial parts! So
why can't something like that be
done for me? Huh? Why not?
Sellnick grimaces, then puts a hand on Wendell's shoulder.
SELLNICK
I'm sorry, son. There's just no way.
WENDELL
But I want to live!
SELLNICK
Then the best advice anyone can give
you is this: make every minute count.
INT. THE LIVING ROOM (ANGLE TOWARD WINDOW) -- DAY
A somewhat-the-worse-for-wear Al stumbles into the room, his
cape, pink scarf, bomber cap and goggles severely askew. All
the new network technicians glance at him, their expressions
transform, and their CHATTING among themselves diminishes.
Al scrutinizes each group of technicians while slowly and
deliberately pulling himself back together. As he does that,
Wendell and Sellnick discuss him OFFSCREEN.
WENDELL (O.S.)
How many times has he 'flown' today?
SELLNICK (O.S.)
Twice since you left.
WENDELL (O.S.)
Three is his usual limit, but he's
too fired up to keep to that. Any
way you can slow him down?
SELLNICK (O.S.)
Hey, what are drugs for?
WENDELL (O.S.)
First chance you get, okay?
SELLNICK (O.S.)
Gotcha....
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
70.
At that Al goes to the window, so Wendell and Sellnick ease
over to join him, talking as they go.
SELLNICK (CONT'D)
What's his story, anyway?
WENDELL
He was a medic in Viet Nam. All the
horror he saw.... It cracked him up.
AL (O.S.)
Jump! Jump! Jump!
SELLNICK
How's he survive? Disability benefits?
Wendell nods, taps his temple as the crowd responds to Al.
CROWD (O.S.)
JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!
WENDELL
He's a one-hundred-percenter.
SELLNICK
You're tellin' me!
INT. AT THE WINDOW -- DAY
They arrive where Al stands with his arms widespread. The
crowd is now about 300, and Al has become their darling.
Just as obvious is his delight at his effect on them.
AL
Fly! Fly! Fly!
CROWD
FLY! FLY! FLY!
Sellnick makes a sweeping gesture aimed at the window.
SELLNICK
The ultimate podium.
Al hears that, pauses to consider, then grins fiendishly.
AL
Podium! Podium! Podium!
After a few moments of muttered confusion, the crowd ROARS.
CROWD
PODIUM! PODIUM! PODIUM!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
71.
The three men at the window share grins of satisfaction.
WENDELL
If you took it really slow, Al, you
could work them up to complex words.
INT. THE APARTMENT ENTRANCE -- DAY
THREE NETWORK NEWSCASTERS enter and join their camera crews
lingering near the bar. Those three wear coats and ties from
the waist up, but white tennis shorts and court shoes under.
ONE RSVP CREWMAN leaves the card game to go notify Milt and
Craven in the bedroom. Meanwhile, the network technicians go
to their piles of equipment to start preparing themselves to
film the interviews. Milt and Craven quickly appear.
MILT
Hello! How are you? I'm Milt Kaiser.
The newscasters ignore his extended hand, looking down their
noses at him like he's a bug under glass.
1ST NEWSCASTER
Your reputation precedes you as a
reprehensible lout, Kaiser.
2ND NEWSCASTER
If this hadn't been ordered from New
York, you couldn't pay us to cover
such a slimy piece of crap.
3RD NEWSCASTER
(hands over a check)
Speaking of that tawdry subject,
here's your fee from all of us.
Milt glances at the check, shrugs, then hands it to Craven.
1ST NEWSCASTER
Let's get on with this absurdity.
We're busy people.
Craven archly observes their lower garments.
CRAVEN
So we see....
Milt turns to Wendell and motions for him to come over.
MILT
Hey, Wendell! These are the network
guys! Time to do your stuff!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
72.
As Wendell and Sellnick approach, the 1st Newscaster carps.
1ST NEWSCASTER
Why isn't he made up?
2ND NEWSCASTER
He'll wash out on camera!
MILT
Dying people should look pale.
3RD NEWSCASTER
What a bunch of nincompoops!
Milt and Craven bridle at that insult. But before they can
respond, Al's voice BOOMS across the room from the window.
AL (O.S.)
Nincompoops! Nincompoops!Nincompoops!
INT. LIVING ROOM (ANGLE ON WINDOW AREA) -- DAY
Everyone in the room turns to watch Al as the crowd responds.
CROWD (O.S.)
NINCOMPOOPS! NINCOMPOOPS! NINCOMPOOPS!
That fires Al into liftoff mode. He starts flapping his arms
like before, then LEAPS from the window.
EXT. UPWARD VIEW FROM GROUND TO WINDOW -- DAY
Once again, SUPER SLOW MOTION on beatific Al as he flaps and
"flies" downward, except this time he is followed until he
CRASHES into the mattresses stacked behind the hedgerow.
INT. LIVING ROOM (ANGLE ON NEWSCASTERS) -- DAY
The three newscasters and their men react with varying
expressions of shocked disbelief.
1ST NEWSCASTER
Holy shit! He jumped!
All three turn to their equally stunned technicians.
ALL THREE
Get the shot! Get the shot!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
73.
A mad scramble ensues, trying to get the cameras over to the
window. Then the 3rd newscaster SHOUTS to his crew.
3RD NEWSCASTER
Go outside! Outside! He's probably
down there bleeding!
The other two newscasters and their crews hear that, which
provokes an immediate STAMPEDE out the door. That leaves
Wendell, Milt, Craven, and Sellnick standing alone.
WENDELL
I don't care what you say, I'm not
talking to those people. They're 24-
carat, gold-plated assholes.
MILT
But we need the publicity they--!
Wendell interrupts him with a restraining hand.
WENDELL
Your problem, Milt, is that you talk
when you ought to listen, and you
never listen at all.
(firm)
Now, give back their money and kick
them out. I'm tired and a bit tipsy.
I need a nap before the debate.
Milt is clearly dejected, but Craven goes to work on him.
CRAVEN
Listen, the debate will bleed into
primetime news in two timezones. We
can offer a live feed for anyone
that wants an excerpt, and a tape-
delay feed for the other two zones.
Couple that with our press releases
and the radio spots, and we should
get the audience we're looking for.
Milt is nothing if not mentally resilient.
MILT
You're absolutely right, Wendell--
those guys are three of the biggest
pricks I've ever seen. Screw 'em!
We'll do it without their help!
Everyone grins as Wendell turns away toward the bedroom.
DISSOLVE TO:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
74.
INT. LIVING ROOM (SAME SCENE, LATER) -- DAY
Wendell leaves his bedroom looking refreshed, now wearing a
tie with his sportcoat, shirt and slacks. He sees Al sprawled
across the new couch, SNORING softly. The three orange-clad
RSVP-TV crewmen still play cards at the kitchen table.
Milt and Craven are no longer there, but Sellnick stands at
the bar, laboring over a piece of PAPER on a clipboard. ROCK
MUSIC wafts in from the ever-open front window. It's "Stairway
To Heaven" by Led Zeppelin, just hitting the crescendo..."annd
sheeee's byyyyyy-iiing aaa staaaare-way tooo heee-aaa-vun."
Wendell approaches Sellnick, shaking his head in mock dismay.
WENDELL
What's with the music out there?
SELLNICK
When Al quit playing cheerleader,
the crowd started partying.
WENDELL
Have they all been message songs?
SELLNICK
I'm not sure it's all been music. I
don't know what some of it was.
(a beat)
Did a nap fix you up?
WENDELL
Just what the doctor ordered.
(points to couch)
What's with Al?
SELLNICK
Just what you ordered.
He pulls a bottle of pills from his pocket to illustrate.
SELLNICK (CONT'D)
Told him they'd make him fly.
Wendell smirks, then looks questioningly at the paper Sellnick
is filling out on the clipboard.
SELLNICK (CONT'D)
Guy from the crematorium came by. He
left this form for you to fill out.
WENDELL
Why are you doing it?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
75.
SELLNICK
Thought I'd save you the trouble.
It's simple. The only thing I didn't
know was what to do with your ashes.
WENDELL
What do most people do with them?
SELLNICK
Romantics spread them over water...the
meek, over the earth...the vindictive
make relatives keep them on mantels.
WENDELL
Mix them into the concrete foundation
slab of a new Burger King.
SELLNICK
(impressed)
Now that is creative.
WENDELL
Not for a junk food junkie.
(checks his watch)
When do I leave for the debate?
SELLNICK
There's a limo waiting out back,
ready when you are.
WENDELL
(turns to leave)
Make it a Taco Bell. I like their
commercials.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. RSVP-TV STUDIO -- DAY
The LIMO pulls up to where a CROWD of about 50 people is
waiting. TWO HUGE BODYGUARDS get out, followed by Wendell.
When he appears, SCREAMS and SHOUTS erupt from the crowd.
The bodyguards shove fans aside and drag Wendell through
their clutching, clawing hysteria. Despite the intensity of
the JOSTLING, he seems more bewildered than frightened.
INT. RSVP-TV STUDIO -- DAY
Wendell strides along a hallway with an entourage of Milt,
Craven, and FIVE RSVP-TV FLUNKIES trailing in his wake.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
76.
MILT
We have a church representative, a
right-to-death advocate, and a
spiritualist lined up as panelists.
WENDELL
Why a spiritualist?
CRAVEN
We, ahh, wanted an eclectic mix.
MILT
The first two are turds. We had to
balance them with some big hooters!
INT. IN FRONT OF A SOUNDSTAGE DOOR - DAY
They round a corner to find Sherry at the SOUNDSTAGE door.
Wendell beams when he sees her, but she remains impassive.
SHERRY
Hello, Wendell. How do you feel?
WENDELL
Like Elvis arriving at a concert. Of
course, he's an inappropriate example.
She can't help being amused at his irreverence.
SHERRY
I meant about the debate.
WENDELL
Oh, that! I'm not worried about it.
You promised to ease me through it.
MILT
You'll be great! You're a natural!
Now let's go! Places everyone!
As Milt shoos the flunkies, Craven turns to Wendell.
CRAVEN
We'll be in the booth overseeing the
feeds that go out, so don't worry
about a thing. And remember: think
stature out there...think product!
MILT
(as he & Craven leave)
Better yet, think fast!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
77.
Wendell and Sherry are left alone in front of the door. He
maintains his hopeful smile until she starts speaking.
SHERRY
Listen....it's not that I don't or
can't understand or appreciate the
extreme gravity of your situation.
(a beat)
But I really do have to think about
myself first. I just can't find it
in my heart to want to get involved
with you on any level beyond our
professional attachment.
WENDELL
'Professional attachment'? That makes
us sound like lab specimens!
SHERRY
If it could just be an episode of
meaningless sex with a stranger, I
might consider it. But I know you
now...you're a friend.
WENDELL
Who better than with a friend?
SHERRY
Can't you understand? It would be
too hard on me after you're gone!
WENDELL
Then don't think of me as gone! Think
of me as...at Taco Bell!
SHERRY
What?
WENDELL
Never mind! Just try to think--
A RED LIGHT comes on over the soundstage door.
SHERRY
It's time! We have to settle this
later. Are you ready?
WENDELL
Sure, why not? What doesn't kill me
makes me stronger...right?
She can't help grinning again as she pulls the door open.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
78.
SHERRY
Watch out for Reverend Obadia
Thackery. He's a pompous old ass
hell-bent to make you look foolish.
Wendell gives a DOUBLE-TAKE of recognition.
INT. THE SOUNDSTAGE -- DAY
The debate set-up follows the standard TV panel FORMAT.
Wendell sits to the left of the stage, behind a desk. He
faces across the stage, toward the panel of questioners.
Sherry sits behind a desk in the middle of the stage, facing
the audience. The panelists are to her left, Wendell to her
right. 200 PEOPLE sit in bleachers erected for the occasion.
Everything has a "thrown-together" look and feel, but that
provides a sense of excitement and energy and possibility.
SHERRY
Hello, everyone. I'm Sherry Courtland.
I'd like to welcome you all to what
we at RSVP-TV believe will prove to
be a worthy--and possibly historic--
event in television programming.
We intend to broadcast the final
week and...ultimate death...of Mr.
Wendell Mobley, who is with us here
in the studio. He will be answering
questions from panelists who have
reservations about what he's doing.
Our panelists today are: to my
immediate left, Reverend Obadiah
Thackery, of the United Brotherhood
of Fundamentalist Ministries, and
his own American Morality Crusade.
Reverend Thackery is the white-haired evangelist introduced
when Wendell's blood was being drawn. Wendell smiles at him
knowingly, but the Reverend doesn't recognize him.
SHERRY
To Reverend Thackery's left is Miss
Madge Sinclair, of the Society for
Dignity in Death and Dying.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
79.
MADGE SINCLAIR is an overweight, middle-aged harridan with
the sour expression of a behind-schedule long-haul trucker.
She seems ready to tear into anything that gets in her way.
SHERRY (CONT'D)
To Miss Sinclair's left is widely
renowned spiritualist and medium,
Madame Carlotta, who maintains an
alternative view of our topic.
MADAME CARLOTTA is a big, buxom vamp in her late 30's. She
wears a star-spangled black-and-white babushka, vastly too
much makeup, and a skin-tight dress with almost no front.
SHERRY (CONT'D)
Panelists may ask any question within
reason and the bounds of good taste.
Let's start with Reverend Thackery.
The Reverend speaks in stentorian TONES that long years in a
pulpit have made second nature.
REVEREND
Mr. Mobley, I must tell you outright
that I am strongly biased against
this path you have chosen.
WENDELL
That's why you're here, isn't it?
A muffled TITTER comes up from the audience.
REVEREND
Yes, well, be that as it may, I must
say I view the entire project with a
very jaundiced eye.
Wendell looks at Sherry, who realizes this isn't working.
SHERRY
Ummm...maybe the Reverend can come
up with a question next time around.
How about you, Miss Sinclair?
Madge speaks as bluntly as the truck drivers she resembles.
MADGE
I'd like to know how you got this
cockamamie idea in the first place?
WENDELL
It came to me in an existential moment
of tantric nirvana, which I achieved
while contemplating the metaphysics
of Aristotelian determinism.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
80.
Sherry can't help CHUCKLING as the audience TITTERS again.
INT. CONTROL BOOTH -- DAY
Milt and Craven stand together behind several TECHNICIANS
working at control boards below a bank of studio MONITORS.
CRAVEN
Miiilt! He's not being serious!
Milt looks worried, nervous, and unsettled.
MILT
Don't worry. He's just nervous. He'll
settle down.
INT. SOUNDSTAGE -- DAY
Madame Carlotta speaks in a husky, southern-languid voice.
CARLOTTA
Speaking of metaphysics....do you
have any preference for your new
incarnation after this one?
WENDELL
You're asking who I'd like to come
back as if I get reborn?
CARLOTTA
Who or what. One can choose to be
inanimate, if one wishes.
WENDELL
Then that's for me. I want to come
back as an 'animate'.
Over the TITTERS that follow, Reverend Thackery ROARS.
REVEREND
Do you know our Lord and Savior,
Jesus Christ?
WENDELL
About as well as I know John Lennon.
That leaves the Reverend apoplectic, outraged beyond speech.
MADGE
Don't you have any regrets about
what you've done?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
81.
WENDELL
Oh, sure. For example, I've always
wished I had gone to a topflight Ivy
League college, with a double major
in hedonism and debauchery.
For some reason, all this is appealing to Madame Carlotta.
She leans forward to speak with genuine interest.
CARLOTTA
Have you discovered any absolutes
during this earthly incarnation?
WENDELL
The only one I'd bet on is that any
pro football team can beat any other
pro football team on any given Sunday.
The audience LAUGHS out loud at that one. Sherry cuts in to
try to restore some decorum.
SHERRY
Perhaps we should shift our line of
questioning to another area.
(focuses on him)
Mr. Mobley, there's been a certain
amount of criticism about the fact
that you are--in effect--'selling'
your death for money. How do you
respond to charges that you--
MADGE
--are a sleazy little opportunist!
WENDELL
I've tried to live by the credo that
says when opportunity knocks, only a
damn fool doesn't answer.
REVEREND
Such language, Mr. Mobley! What about
the young people watching?
WENDELL
I'm sorry, Reverend; I apologize.
But I do think the word 'damn' is a
lot less harmful to the morals of
young people than the paternity suit
you're facing now. Don't you agree?
The Reverend takes a moment to strangle from the inside out,
then he bolts up from his chair to rush from the stage.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
82.
INT. CONTROL BOOTH -- DAY
Milt gnashes his teeth as Craven tears his hair out.
CRAVEN
Miiiiilt! He's bombing!
INT. SOUNDSTAGE -- DAY
Sherry hangs her head, LAUGHING, as Madame Carlotta leans
farther forward with genuine curiosity. As she does that,
her massive CLEAVAGE is near to spilling from her dress.
CARLOTTA
Do you have any karmic concerns as
you near your next cosmic phase?
WENDELL
Yes, I do. Naturally, I'd prefer to
be too irresponsible to worry about
anything, including karmic concerns.
But if I was, I'd certainly have to
worry about that, wouldn't I?
Madge Sinclair now has a handle on the proceedings.
MADGE
Mr. Mobley, it's clear you don't
take us seriously. But don't you
think it's harmful to trivialize
something as important as death?
WENDELL
The way I see it, Miss Sinclair, if
you consider the possible reality of
mirror universes, event horizons,
singularity, and relative time, it's
hard to know if anything is important.
That brings an awkward SILENCE that Sherry must fill.
SHERRY
I'm sure we all dread the thought of
standing in your shoes, Mr. Mobley.
But is there anything positive in
your situation that you would be
willing to share with us?
WENDELL
Yes, there is. Against long odds I
very recently fell in love with an
absolutely marvelous woman. She's
(MORE)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
83.
WENDELL (CONT'D)
someone to walk in rain with...or
skip rocks with...she embodies my
wildest dreams and fondest hopes.
Unfortunately, for obvious reasons
she has chosen not to get involved
with me. But I see the experience as
positive, anyway, because I've never
been in love--really in love--before.
So I'm grateful for the chance to
find out how that feels before I go.
Sherry looks as if she wants to crawl in a hole, but everyone
gazes at her in anticipation of the obvious follow-up.
Wendell smiles pleasantly at her discomfiture.
SHERRY
How...ummm...how does it feel?
WENDELL
Fantastic! I think about her all the
time; I see her image everywhere; I
structure my life--or what's left of
it--to try to be near her.
(becomes serious)
You know, I always believed she was
out there...somewhere...waiting just
for me. But whenever I went anywhere
she might be...when I got there, she
was gone...I always just missed her.
(chokes up)
So now, just at the end of my life,
I've found her at last...and it's
the single greatest thing that's
ever happened to me...by far.
Once again, the insistent stares of the panelists and the
audience force Sherry to explore Wendell's love for her.
SHERRY
Ummm....really?
WENDELL
Oh, yes. To me the most horrible
fate in the world would be to die
without ever feeling another person's
heart beating in tune with your own
...without ever losing yourself in
the mystery of someone else's soul...
without ever experiencing how love
can overcome basic human loneliness
by weaving two spirits into one.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
84.
Sherry utters a small, gurgling WHIMPER as she fights back
tears, while a seriously aroused Carlotta speaks up. When
she does, her voice is noticeably lower and sexier.
CARLOTTA
Excuse me, but didn't you say the
object of your affection doesn't
want to get involved with you?
WENDELL
That's right. But if she's watching
now, maybe hearing how deeply I care
for her might help change her mind.
Madge has also been moved to tears by Wendell's speech.
MADGE
Tell me who she is and you can bet
she'll change her mind--or else!
WENDELL
I appreciate that, Miss Sinclair,
but it wouldn't be fair to her. She
needs to make her own decision.
INT. THE SOUNDSTAGE (ANGLE ON BLEACHERS) -- DAY
SHOUTS start coming from the audience, mostly MALE voices.
VOICE #1
Give him a break, whoever you are!
VOICE #2
Go for it, Wendell!
VOICE #3
Everybody loves a lover!
WOMEN stand up and start pouring out to STORM the stage.
VOICE #4
Take me instead!
VOICE #5
No, me!
VOICE #6
I want to have your baby!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
85.
INT. RETURN FOCUS TO THE STAGE AREA - DAY
Wendell's two bodyguards appear from backstage to act as a
human shield for him. One of them speaks urgently.
BODYGUARD #1
Make a run for that door over there!
(points it out)
We'll join you when we can!
While that plays out, several RSVP-TV STAGEHANDS--some still
wearing headsets--hustle out to help the two bodyguards.
The first wave of women reaches the line of men and it is
terrible to behold. Bodies sprawl and tangle, and it becomes
a brawling MELEE reminiscent of The Jerry Springer Show.
Above the DIN and confusion, Sherry tries to restore order.
SHERRY
Ladies! Please! Control yourselves!
Please!...Try to control yourselves!
INT. CONTROL BOOTH -- DAY
Milt and Craven stare in stunned amazement at the PANDEMONIUM
on the monitors before them.
CRAVEN
Oh, my God, Milt! He's turned himself
into gold! Everyone will want a piece
of him after this!
MILT
I told you he was a natural!
A TECHNICIAN at a console speaks up, excitedly.
TECHNICIAN
The networks just picked up our live
feed for the central time zone!
Craven loses control and plants a kiss on Milt's lips!
CRAVEN
You are a genius!
Milt is torn between feeling euphoria and disgust.
DISSOLVE TO:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
86.
EXT. REAR OF WENDELL'S APT. BUILDING -- LATE AFTERNOON
The limo parks in the alley and is swarmed by SCREAMING fans
trying to get to Wendell. The two bodyguards--now in tattered
clothes--join several POLICEMEN to form a flying wedge that
gets him safely to the back door, held open by Mrs. Saxon.
INT. THE APT. BUILDING'S REAR FOYER -- LATE AFTERNOON
Once inside, Wendell sags back against the door. It's clear
the situation is getting to him. He looks frazzled. Mrs.
Saxon, however, is stimulated beyond her usual zest.
MRS. SAXON
Such commotion! It's just so exciting!
WENDELL
You can say that again! I don't know
how much more I can take.
MRS. SAXON
Well, it will be over soon enough,
so you should enjoy all you can.
They talk as they move to the stairway.
WENDELL
You're doing a great job of regulating
who gets in and out of the building.
MRS. SAXON
That's the part I like best!
WENDELL
How do you keep the other tenants
away from me? Al is the only one
I've seen since the announcement.
MRS. SAXON
I told them what's killing you isn't
really what everyone says.
WENDELL
What do I really have, Mrs. Saxon?
MRS. SAXON
Incurable internal leprosy, with
just the slightest touch of AIDS.
He grimaces, then starts trudging up the stairs.
WENDELL
I can always count on you, can't I?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
87.
INT. THE APARTMENT LIVING ROOM -- LATE AFTERNOON
Wendell enters to once again find Dr. Sellnick at the bar.
The orange-clad RSVP-TV camera crew sits on the new carpet,
playing cards around the new coffee table in front of the
new couch. Al is no longer on the couch or in the room.
A new CONSOLE TV rests against the wall near the window.
It's on the RSVP channel, but with the sound off, as ROCK
MUSIC still wafts up from the crowd below. Sellnick sees
Wendell and comes over to greet him with a big bearhug.
SELLNICK
Dammit, son! I owe you an apology! I
thought anybody who'd do what you're
doing had to be some kind of whacked-
out looney. But hell! You're just a
regular guy, like the rest of us!
The three RSVP crewmen react to Wendell's arrival by standing
up from the card game to greet him. Their leader is RALPH
CONLEY, a 50-ish gray-haired man who quips after Sellnick:
RALPH
Yeah! Horny as a three-balled tomcat,
and trying your best to get laid!
Everyone enjoys a robust LAUGH as the other two crewmen offer
congratulations for Wendell's debate performance.
2ND CREWMAN
Way to go, man! Those first two came
at you, but you kicked their butts!
3RD CREWMAN
Especially the Reverend! You left
that hypocrite blowin' snot bubbles!
Ralph Conley gives Wendell a final word of encouragement.
RALPH
My name is Ralph. When you feel ready
to tape your will, see me.
WENDELL
Thanks, Ralph. I'll let you know.
INT. THE LIVING ROOM (ANGLE ON BAR AREA) -- LATE AFTERNOON
As the card game resumes, Wendell and Sellnick move to the
sandwich stack, where Wendell lifts and starts eating one.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
88.
SELLNICK
Where are the others?
WENDELL
Lost them back at the studio.
(pauses to chew)
What a madhouse that was!
SELLNICK
Don't worry, they'll all be here
before the seven o'clock update.
WENDELL
I know.... Where's Al?
SELLNICK
(points overhead)
Fueling up for his next flight.
WENDELL
What's wrong with the food here?
SELLNICK
(wryly)
Someone gave him the impression that
was what put him to sleep.
WENDELL
(mimics Sellnick)
Gotcha....
INT. THE BEDROOM -- NIGHT
Wendell lays stretched out, hands behind his head, on his
new, ornate bed. The bookshelves above it are gone, replaced
by the ABSTRACT COLLAGES suggested by the three consultants.
Sellnick sits beside the bed in an ARMCHAIR that compliments
the bed. The light standards semi-circle the foot of it. The
jacked-up studio camera hangs over them like a huge insect.
SELLNICK
Why have you wasted your life in a
coffee bean warehouse? As smart as
you are, you could have been anything
you wanted...doctor, lawyer, whatever.
WENDELL
I'm a pathological underachiever. I
just never felt comfortable standing
out from the crowd, so I worked hard
to keep my profile as low as possible.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
89.
SELLNICK
Then why in hell did you let Milt
talk you into going along with this?
Wendell considers for a moment, then SIGHS heavily.
WENDELL
I had just gotten the news about my
condition...which made me a little
crazy...you know? Then I saw Sherry
standing there...and all I could
think was: 'I've never once been to
bed with a truly beautiful woman.'
At first, though, even that wasn't
enough to sway me. But as I kept
looking at her...watching how she
stands up to Milt the way she
does...well, I just decided to do
whatever I could to sleep with her.
As crude and sexist as that sounds,
I think what I really wanted was a
reason to keep on breathing...some
goal to work toward. But now that I
know her...I really do love her. I'd
love her even if I wasn't dying.
SELLNICK
She's a special girl, all right.
WENDELL
You have any idea what her story is?
I know there must be a skeleton or
two rattling around in her closet,
but I can't get her to discuss it.
Sellnick rises and starts pacing the cluttered bedroom.
SELLNICK
You know much about car racing?
WENDELL
Not really. I'm a football fan.
SELLNICK
Recognize the name 'Diego Rivera'?
WENDELL
Diego Rivera.... I've heard of him,
but I can't remember where.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
90.
SELLNICK
He was a former Grand Prix world
champion. About five years ago.
WENDELL
'Was'....?
SELLNICK
Killed last year racing in Europe.
WENDELL
How does he tie in with Sherry?
SELLNICK
She was his lady for the last three
years of his life.
WENDELL
Oh....
SELLNICK
Last year was supposed to be his
final season. They planned to be
married right after he retired.
WENDELL
It figured to be something like that.
She has a terrible aversion to death.
SELLNICK
Can't say I blame her.
WENDELL
Me, either...dammit.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT
The RSVP crew's card game has moved back into the kitchen.
Milt, Craven, and Sherry stand near the couch talking with
THREE MEN in suits. A steady CHANT comes in from the crowd.
CROWD (O.S.)
WE WANT WEN-DELL! WE WANT WEN-DELL!
WE WANT WEN-DELL! WE WANT WEN-DELL!
Milt's group notices Wendell and Sellnick as they emerge
from the bedroom. Milt breaks away to go greet them.
MILT
Hey, hey! Here he is! The man
everybody's talking about!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
91.
He reaches Wendell and gives him a big hug, then speaks LOUD
so the group across the room can hear him.
MILT (CONT'D)
I love this guy! He's made me the
'King of Death'!
He then MUTTERS urgently so only Wendell can hear.
MILT (CONT'D)
So tell me...is it Sherry?
WENDELL
That's none of your business.
MILT
Sure, sure! But can we count on some
kind of announcement before you go?
WENDELL
You can count on my total refusal to
cooperate any more if you keep asking
about my personal life.
Milt's smile fades as he realizes how serious Wendell is.
But it comes right back on as he turns to face his group.
MILT
Come on! I want you to meet some
terrific people.
He takes Wendell by the arm and leads him across the room,
with Doc Sellnick shuffling along behind.
MILT (CONT'D)
These guys represent HBO, Showtime,
and Cinemax!
Craven does his part as the three cable executives shake
hands with Wendell.
CRAVEN
Instead of the single-channel local-
area show we originally planned, now
we'll hook these gentlemen into our
facilities for a nation-wide pay-
cable broadcast!
MILT
Can you believe it? We get to charge
people to watch you croak!
EXECUTIVE #1
Right now, you're as big as any
championship prizefight.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
92.
EXECUTIVE #2
And getting bigger by the minute.
EXECUTIVE #3
You're a genuine media phenomenon.
WENDELL
That's great. So, what's my cut?
All five executives promptly go into shock. Wendell WINKS at
Sellnick so no one else can see it, then he glances over at
Sherry gazing out the window. She doesn't turn toward him.
MILT
Your cut? What do you mean? You've
got no family, your only friend is
that fruitcake upstairs, and you're
dying in a week! What the hell do
you want with a cut?
WENDELL
You just said my death is the equal
of any prizefight, and those guys
make millions. Tell me, Milt, would
you let anyone make millions off you
without demanding a fair share?
That strikes at the heart of Milt's larcenous nature.
MILT
For the sake of argument, what kind
of 'fair share' do you have in mind?
WENDELL
I always wanted to die a millionaire.
The three cable executives stand immobile as Sellnick stifles
a laugh, Sherry finally turns from the window, Craven's jaw
drops, and Milt swells up like a frightened toad.
MILT
A...a what?
WENDELL
You heard me. I want a flat million
or the deal is off.
MILT
Listen, pal! You better stop all
this trying to jack me around! You
signed a goddamned contract!
WENDELL
So sue me.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
93.
He glances at Sherry, who is now grinning at him. He WINKS
at her as he did to Sellnick, while Milt huddles with Craven
and the three executives. While they do that, the RSVP crew
comes in and Ralph sidles up behind Wendell to MUTTER:
RALPH
Stick the bastards. They'd sell their
mothers for a tenth of a market share.
WENDELL
(mutters back)
Don't worry...they're toast.
Milt turns from his emergency meeting, calm but glowering.
MILT
Okay, 'pal', you got a deal. But I'm
warning you...you're gonna be leaving
a very bad taste in everyone's mouth.
SHERRY
Not mine!
SELLNICK
Or mine!
ALL 3 CREWMEN
Or ours!
WENDELL
See? Six-to-five right there. You're
outvoted. Now, have Mr. Craven draw
something up in writing so we'll all
know it's legal and official.
MILT
But...you're supposed be on the air
with the first update in...
(checks his watch)
....twenty minutes!
WENDELL
(to Craven)
Attach a short addendum to the
original contract. I'll sign it.
CRAVEN
You must be joking!
WENDELL
You can do it in longhand, like you
did those other notes on it.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
94.
INT. LIVING ROOM (ANGLE ON WINDOW) -- NIGHT
Wendell steps to the window to join Sherry. A ROAR from the
crowd shakes the building. He waves and blows kisses at them.
SHERRY
(so only he can hear)
After the update, can we talk?
WENDELL
(smiles at her)
I thought you'd never ask.
She looks away without returning his smile.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. LIVING ROOM (ANGLE ON COUCH) -- NIGHT
The RSVP camera crew, led by cameraman Ralph Conley, has set
up against the wall opposite the couch. Wendell and Sherry
sit side-by-side on the couch, looking at the camera.
Sherry is finishing the seven o'clock update.
SHERRY
....so that's where we stand at the
moment. We'll have another update at
ten, so be sure to tune in for any
developments between now and then.
I'm Sherry Courtland, reporting from
the home of Wendell Mobley, America's
newest--and possibly shortest-lived--
darling. We'll see you again at ten.
After a pause of several seconds, Ralph the cameraman speaks.
RALPH
Cut! We're off the air!
Milt and Craven rush forward, ecstatic.
MILT
That was perfect, Sherry, perfect!
CRAVEN
You both were perfect!
The three cable executives move in to offer congratulations,
too, but mostly to Milt and Craven, giving Wendell and Sherry
a chance to ease away from that group. They move straight to
Sellnick, standing at his usual place near the bar.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
95.
WENDELL
Doc, I'm taking Sherry up to Al's
place so we can have some privacy.
When he gets down here, keep him
busy till we get back. Give him
another pill if you have to.
SELLNICK
No problem. I'll help him try some
bigger words on the crowd.
INT. THE UPPER LANDING -- NIGHT
Wendell and Sherry make the same maneuver to get to Al's
door as to get to Wendell's door on the second floor. They
go to it and KNOCK. In moments they hear Al's muffled VOICE.
AL (O.S.)
Driver's license, please!
WENDELL
Come on, Al! It's me! Wendell!
AL (O.S.)
Mrs. Saxon says don't trust anyone!
Wendell fishes out his wallet while Sherry looks baffled.
WENDELL
Don't ask. It's too weird to explain.
He slides his driver's license under the door, which is
promptly unlatched and opened. Al greets them wearing his
usual outlandish outfit, minus the cap, goggles, and scarf.
AL
And Sherry, too! How are you?
Al hands back Wendell's license as they enter.
SHERRY
I'm fine, Al. Nice to see you again.
INT. AL'S LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT
His apartment is the same design as Wendell's, though nothing
like the decor before the transformation. Everything is worn
looking or dilapidated, and nothing matches anything else.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
96.
It looks as if it was furnished with the throwaways of other
tenants, which is the case. Sherry gazes around uneasily as
Al leads them in and gestures toward his kitchen.
AL
I just finished dinner, but I have
some nice soup left over.
WENDELL
We're not hungry. We just want to
talk for a while.
AL
That's wonderful! I love talking!
WENDELL
Not you, Al--me and Sherry. But Doc
Sellnick asked me to tell you the
crowd wants you to come fly again.
AL
Fly again! Of course! I forgot! Let
me get my equipment!
He rushes across the room, yellow rain-cape flapping. He
retrieves his cap, goggles, and scarf from a chair, puts
them on, then strides to the door. At it he stops, turns.
AL (CONT'D)
Tonight is the night, Wendell. Tonight
I will fly! I feel magic in the air!
With that he lowers his goggles into flight position, adjusts
his scarf with his usual flourish, then closes the door.
An awkward SILENCE descends as Sherry stands there trying to
absorb the strange place and its whimsical inhabitant.
SHERRY
Why doesn't he get an apartment on
the second floor? Wouldn't that be
more convenient for his 'flights'?
WENDELL
I've offered to swap with him, but
he turns me down. He enjoys having
an audience, even if it's just me.
He gestures to the broken-down couch. She sits beside him
and they cast tentative sidelong glances that makes their
discomfort obvious. She clears her throat before speaking.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
97.
SHERRY
Let me get straight to the point.
The reason I wanted to meet with you
is to tell you that--despite all
those beautiful, touching things you
said during the debate--I still don't
want to get...'involved' with you.
WENDELL
But everyone wants us to fall in
love! It's ultimate soap opera!
SHERRY
I don't think 'love' is exactly what
we're talking about here...is it?
WENDELL
Well, it's a function of love; you
can't deny that. And maybe if you
can find it in your heart to try--
She cuts him off by raising a finger to seal his lips.
SHERRY
I've never been a 'try it, you'll
like it' type. And it's not like you
to suggest something so cheap.
WENDELL
God, Sherry, I want this so bad! I
really meant every word I said today.
Sherry is touched by his frantic desperation, but she
stubbornly clings to her resolve. She stands up and turns
away from him. He follows her up, continuing to explain.
WENDELL (CONT'D)
I'm sorry. I just can't help my--
She cuts him off this time by spinning around to face him.
SHERRY
Listen! I already know how it feels
to lose someone you care about. You
wake up one day...it's a day like
any other...except that is the day
the person you love will go away...
and you will never see them again.
Tears spring into her eyes as she battles her pain.
SHERRY (CONT'D)
It hurts, Wendell...soooo much. More
than you'd want to put anyone through--
especially someone you care for.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
98.
She suddenly starts CRYING, so he takes her in his arms.
WENDELL
Okay, then...change of plans. I'll
give the money back and I won't die.
That attempt at humor brings even LOUDER SOBS from Sherry.
WENDELL (CONT'D)
Seriously! I'll go to one of those
countries where they do sex-change
operations. I mean, if they can do
that, surely they can fix me!
(he chokes up)
You'll see. All it will take is a
new immune system...a couple hormone
shots...a few hits with a laser...and
wham-oh! I'll be as good as new!
She looks up and forces a smile through her tears.
SHERRY
Kiss me....
He looks at her questioningly as she continues.
SHERRY (CONT'D)
....just once.
It's a long, lingering, sensual kiss, and when they break,
it's obvious her reservations have been canceled.
SHERRY (CONT'D)
Could we do that again?
WENDELL
Did you miss something?
She nods as she moves to kiss him.
SHERRY
I think I have been.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. AL'S BEDROOM -- NIGHT
It's as bizarrely furnished as one would expect for Al. The
only thing remotely normal in it is a regular-looking bed,
in which Wendell and Sherry now lay, post-coital. They are
entwined in each others arms, epitomizing the joy of victory.
SHERRY
Can you feel it?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
99.
WENDELL
What?
SHERRY
Those things you said at the debate.
Our hearts beating in tune...losing
ourselves in the mystery of our souls
...our two spirits weaving into one.
(a beat)
That was so beautiful. It's no wonder
all those women went crazy over you.
It was all I could do to keep from
ripping my panties off right there!
They both LAUGH at that, then she becomes serious.
SHERRY (CONT'D)
I'm still afraid...I want you to
know that. I'll be afraid until the
end. But I'm going to go ahead and
love you because...I already do.
They kiss again as he flips the sheet up over them.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. AL'S BEDROOM (SAME SCENE, LATER) -- NIGHT
Wendell and Sherry are still in Al's bed. He cradles her in
his arms, watching her sleep. After several seconds, he eases
his arms from under and around her. She stirs a bit but does
not wake. Gazing lovingly at her, he leans over and gently
kisses her forehead. TEARS glisten on his cheeks.
INT. WENDELL'S LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT
The room is now literally packed, with THREE 3-MAN TEAMS of
TECHNICIANS, along with a half-dozen EXECUTIVES in suits.
The technicians are dressed in different-colored jumpsuits--
RED, BLUE, YELLOW--with Showtime, HBO, and Cinemax LOGOS on
their backs. They are busy connecting lengths of cable to
pieces of equipment displaying the various logos.
Milt and Craven are near the bar, engaged in conversation
with the executives. Sellnick is at the window, coaching
eager Al through some complex new chants.
SELLNICK
Okay, let's hit 'em really hard this
time. Corporation.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
100.
AL
Corporation! Corporation!Corporation!
CROWD (O.S.)
CORPORATION! CORPORATION! CORPORATION!
Now dressed, Wendell enters his apartment, glances around,
then quickly moves to his bedroom. It is so crowded now, and
everyone is so engaged, nobody notices his passage through.
INT. THE BEDROOM -- NIGHT
Ralph and the RSVP-TV crew have transferred their card game
to Wendell's bed. They look up guiltily when he steps inside.
RALPH
Sorry, Wendell, but with those other
crews setting up out there....
(gathering in cards)
We'll be out in just a second.
WENDELL
No, you're exactly who I was looking
for. I want to tape my will now. Can
we do it in here?
Ralph and his two crewmen look at each other with concern.
RALPH
Yeah...sure...but right now?
WENDELL
I've decided what I want to say, and
I'd like to get it out of the way so
I don't have to worry about it later.
RALPH
Okay...it's your call. Let's do it.
His crew springs into action around the bedroom camera.
WENDELL
Are you sure it will come on as soon
as I die? I don't want Milt to screw
me out of saying my final goodbyes.
RALPH
Don't worry! Everything at the studio
is handled automatically. We feed it
from here directly to them, and they
lock it into a preset reel connected
(MORE)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
101.
RALPH (CONT'D)
to this camera. As soon as we punch
this button right here...
(points it out)
...it will instantly switch over to
the preset feed reel. It can't miss.
WENDELL
Good....
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. WENDELL'S LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT
The activity level is still high throughout the room as
Sellnick coordinates with Al at the window.
SELLNICK
All right, we're going literary this
time, and it's a tough one.
Al nods his head like a dog eager to fetch a stick.
SELLNICK (CONT'D)
Onomatopoeia.
Al stands there, utterly at a loss.
SELLNICK (CONT'D)
Come on, try it once with me to get
the feel of it. Ono-mato-peeah.
AL
Ono...mato...peeah.
SELLNICK
You've got it! Go to it!
AL
Ono-mato-peeah! Ono-mato-peeah! Ono-
mato-peeah!
Ralph walks up and taps Sellnick on the shoulder as the crowd--
into it now--responds to Al's chant. Sellnick turns around.
CROWD (O.S.)
ONO-MATO-PEEAH! ONO-MATO-PEEAH! ONO-
MATO-PEEAH!
RALPH
(to Sellnick)
It's Wendell. He wants to see you in
his bedroom--now.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
102.
SELLNICK
(alarmed)
Is he sick?
RALPH
He says he's fine, but we taped his
will just now, and he sounded kinda
morbid to me.
Sellnick turns back to Al.
SELLNICK
We do a vegetable this time, then
you fly again. Okay?
Al nods his eager-puppy nod.
SELLNICK (CONT'D)
Rutabaga!
Ralph questions that choice as they walk away.
RALPH
Geeze, Doc...why rutabaga?
SELLNICK
It's as funny as kumquat and has
more syllables than zucchini.
AL (O.S.)
(at their backs)
Rutabaga! Rutabaga! Rutabaga!
INT. WENDELL'S BEDROOM -- NIGHT
Sellnick enters to find Wendell sitting alone on the edge of
the bed. His expression says something serious is up.
SELLNICK
You wanted to see me?
WENDELL
Yeah, Doc. I just taped my will, and
now I'd like to leave you with some
final instructions. Can I count on
you to do what I ask?
SELLNICK
Like a father.
Wendell stands up and moves to the camera.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
103.
WENDELL
Okay, first things first. See this
button? Here's what it does....
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. WENDELL'S BEDROOM (SAME SCENE, LATER) -- NIGHT
Wendell is seeing Sellnick out the door.
WENDELL
One last thing, Doc--something I'd
like to know. Why do you drink so
much? Unlucky at cards? Love? What?
Sellnick turns a faint smile on his biggest foible.
SELLNICK
When your job makes you responsible
for other people's lives, you have
to give up certain areas of emotional
capacity in order to be competent. I
never could do that very well.
WENDELL
You mean your heart kept getting in
the way of your head?
SELLNICK
Worse--my wallet!
Wendell grins, then reaches into a hip pocket.
WENDELL
Speaking of wallets....
He removes his, takes out the $50,000 check Milt gave him
the previous night, signs it, and hands it to Sellnick.
WENDELL (CONT'D)
Here's the check. Now, you're sure
those 'unofficial' sources you know
will be able to cash it this late?
SELLNICK
Like I said, not all of it on such
short notice. But a good chunk of
it. The rest can be done tomorrow.
He pauses, then looks at Wendell with genuine concern.
SELLNICK (CONT'D)
It's not too late to reconsider.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
104.
WENDELL
This way is best for everyone.
Sellnick clearly isn't convinced, but he forces a nod.
SELLNICK
I'll go get the stuff you need, then
I'll warn Al.
(he hugs Wendell)
Goodbye....
Sellnick leaves and Wendell closes the door, sagging back
against it. He looks beaten.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. AL'S BEDROOM -- NIGHT
Groggy but waking up, Sherry reaches over for Wendell.
SHERRY
Wendell...?
She opens her eyes, sees he's gone, and bolts upright.
SHERRY (CONT'D)
Wendell!
She checks her watch on the nightstand.
SHERRY (CONT'D)
The update!
She tears out of bed and starts throwing her clothes on.
INT. WENDELL'S LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT
Al and Sellnick stand at the launch window as the Greek chorus
below BOOMS out:
CROWD
PAROCHIAL! PAROCHIAL! PAROCHIAL!
Suddenly, one of the three blue-clad technicians still working
in the room SHOUTS:
BLUE TECH
Hey! That's our spanner link!
RED TECH
What do you mean, your spanner?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
105.
YELLOW TECH
Can't you two get anything right?
LAUGHS erupt among the yellows at the expense of the reds
and the blues. Ralph's orange crew is hanging out near the
set-up RSVP camera, and joins in LAUGHING with the yellows.
Milt turns from his place at the bar area to SNAP at them.
MILT
Hey! You guys over there! Pipe down!
We go on the air in a few minutes!
(turns to Craven)
That reminds me, where's Sherry?
RED TECH
Kiss off, you jerk!
MILT
What did you say?
RED TECH
I said, 'Kiss my red ass', you money-
grubbing worm! I don't take my orders
from you. I'm union!
MILT
Listen, schmuck! I'm the guy who put
this whole deal together! I'm Mister
Death! So you'll do what I tell you
to do, when I tell you to do it!
Thinking that settles the issue, Milt turns back to Craven.
MILT (CONT'D)
Now, what about Sherry?
CRAVEN
I think she's still upstairs in the
Birdman's apartment.
MILT
And Wendell? Still with her?
CRAVEN
(shakes his head)
Been in his own room over an hour.
MILT
Okay. You go get Sherry, I'll get
Wendell. I don't like cutting things
this close.
Both move in opposite directions as the red-clad technician
Milt chewed out grabs a monkey WRENCH and throws it at him.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
106.
Milt sees it coming and ducks, so the wrench sails past him
to hit the butt of a yellow-clad technician.
Suddenly a punch is thrown among the closely packed techs,and
the room quickly degenerates into a full-blown BRAWL. Ralph
and his crew leave their stationary camera to join in.
Sellnick huddles with Al at the window as thrown objects fly
back and forth across the room. Wood SPLINTERS and glass
BREAKS (but not the TV or main camera) as the battle rages.
The executives in suits are as involved as the technicians,
although their efforts are to avoid being hit rather than
trying to take part in the melee.
Milt has wasted no time scurrying toward Wendell's bedroom,
but Craven has been sucked into the maelstrom and is down on
the floor being pounded by a blue technician.
INT. WENDELL'S LIVING ROOM (ANGLE ON DOOR) -- NIGHT
Sherry appears in the open doorway and is shocked to see the
effects of the fray. She needs a few seconds to recover enough
to check her watch. She then looks over at the unmanned main
camera and sees the RED LIGHT on top of it come on.
SHERRY
Oh, noooo! We're broadcasting!
She SHOUTS at Sellnick and Al, still huddled near the window.
SHERRY (CONT'D)
Where's Wendell?
SELLNICK
Bedroom!
SHERRY
Go get him!
Sellnick NODS and begins negotiating Al in that direction.
INT. VARIOUS SCENES -- NIGHT
People watch televisions in living rooms, hospital waiting
rooms, bars, airport lounges, etc. On the televisions, Sherry
has a microphone in hand and is gamely trying to explain the
free-for-all RAGING at her back.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
107.
SHERRY
As you see, ladies and gentlemen
...since the seven o'clock update
...there have been some...ahhh...
'interesting' developments here...
at Wendell Mobley's apartment.
INT. WENDELL'S BEDROOM -- NIGHT
Sellnick and Al enter the bedroom to find Milt BANGING
furiously on the bathroom door.
MILT
For God's sake, Wendell, open up!
We're on the air live and we have
World War III going on out there!
SELLNICK
What's wrong, Milt?
MILT
The gutless bastard locked himself
in the bathroom!
He notices Al, which gives him an idea.
MILT (CONT'D)
Hey, you're a big guy. Think you can
break the door in?
Al looks at Sellnick, who nods approval. Al sets his cap,
adjusts his goggles, flips his scarf back, flaps his arms to
power up, then plows forward to CRASH through the door.
INT. THE BATHROOM -- NIGHT
Wendell is down on the floor, slumped against the side of
the tub, a look of relieved contentment on his face. His
sportcoat is off and his sleeves are rolled up.
His arms drape over the tub's rim. Its bottom is covered
with dark, coagulated BLOOD from ugly wounds at his wrists.
INT. BATHROOM DOORWAY -- NIGHT
Milt stands with his hand over his mouth, MUTTERING.
MILT
Jeeee-zus Christ....
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
108.
Al moves toward his dead friend, but Sellnick starts to pull
him away. Al resists and speaks to him in his NORMAL tone of
voice, although he, too, is clearly upset.
AL
It's okay, Doc. I saw a lot worse
than this in Viet Nam. You take care
of Sherry. I'll handle Wendell.
Sellnick looks hard at Al and sees he's on the level. He
then glances at Milt, who is too rattled to argue.
MILT
Yeah, sure. Let him handle it.
INT. WENDELL'S BEDROOM -- NIGHT
Milt and Sellnick exit the bathroom and move across the
bedroom. As they pass by the camera, Sellnick PUSHES the
button on it that Wendell pointed out to him earlier.
INT. A TELEVISION SCREEN SOMEWHERE -- NIGHT
It shows Sherry trying valiantly to explain away the brawl
still raging in the room behind her.
SHERRY
Emotions run high in an atmosphere
so filled with anxiety...so it's a
wonder scenes like this aren't the
rule rather than the exception....
Suddenly the screen goes BLANK, then Wendell comes ON. He
sits in the new lounge chair beside the bed. As he starts
speaking, he's awkward and uneasy, but he soon smooths out.
WENDELL
Hi, everyone. Uh...this is difficult
for me...just now...because it's not
really just now. I mean, this is me
talking to you, but as you watch me,
I'm already dead. So please try to
bear with me till I get rolling.
What I'm doing now--as I sit here
alive--is taping my will, which is
something I'm glad I'll never have
to do again. Trust me, deciding what
to say to those you leave behind
makes dying seem kinda easy.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
109.
Anyway, with that said, I guess the
best thing to do is just dive on in.
So I, Wendell Mobley, being of sound
mind but not-so-sound body, make the
following statement of my own free
will, with no outside pressure....
INT. THE LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT
It is a surreal scene as Al walks in with Wendell's limp
body cradled in his arms. Sherry has just been told the news
by Sellnick. She bursts into TEARS and tries to move toward
Al, but Sellnick grabs her shoulders and holds her back.
Meanwhile, Milt scurries around notifying the brawlers, who
begin ceasing their efforts. Soon the entire room realizes
the situation and is shocked into SILENCE and STILLNESS. All
except for Al, who slowly trudges across it with his burden.
As all that occurs, and through all subsequent action, Wendell
continues speaking in V.O., which is heard until he finishes.
WENDELL (V.O.)
To everyone who has followed my story
since it was first announced, I leave
the following explanation: I did it
for love, not money. And speaking of
money, I'm going to keep the $50,000
check you gave me, Milt, because I'm
sure by now you've gotten that much
publicity out of me. But you don't
have to worry about the bequest or
the extra million you promised....
(a beat)
I'd have to leave it to charity,
which I know would kill you.
Now, as for that $50,000... I've
already given it to my new and dear
friend, Dr. Ben Sellnick. Doc, I
want you to take the money and use
it in the following ways, then keep
the remainder as a service fee.
(a beat)
If you have to drink yourself to
death, may as well use good stuff.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
110.
INT. THE BOTTOM STAIRWELL -- NIGHT
Al slowly carries Wendell's body down the stairs and toward
the apartment building's rear door. He moves at DIRGE pace,
while Sellnick and Sherry follow immediately behind. She is
distraught, while Sellnick tries his best to comfort her.
WENDELL (CONT'D)
First, I want a festive party thrown
for the people at the coffee warehouse
I manage. They're a really good group,
and I want them all to know how much
I appreciated their help and support.
(mock serious)
Naturally, since they're all in the
CIA, too, make sure no TV or press
people crash the party. I wouldn't
want to blow anyone's cover.
For my landlady, Mrs. Mabel Saxon, I
want you to buy her the world's best
burglar alarm system. Install it in
our building, along with state-of-
the-art window and door locks.
(a beat)
Rest easy, Mrs. Saxon...and give the
other tenants a break.
For my good friend and neighbor, Al
Bukowski, arrange with whoever moves
in my apartment to let Al come down
and 'fly' until he gets tired of it.
Give them three hundred dollars a
month for their trouble. I can't
think of anything else he needs.
(a beat)
God love ya, Al. Keep visualizing.
Now, Doc, there's a young boy in my
neighborhood who rides around on a
beat-up old big-wheel. I want you to
buy him a whole new wardrobe and the
best ten-speed bicycle you can find.
(gets serious)
As for my car...it's impounded now,
but get it out and take good care of
it. When that boy is old enough to
drive, I want him to have it.
(chokes up)
Trust me, kid, I know what it's like
to be ashamed of your circumstances.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
111.
EXT. THE BACK ALLEYWAY -- NIGHT
The limo is still parked where we last saw it, and still
surrounded by diehard reporters, photographers, and fans.
They stand in hushed SILENCE as Al moves to the dark-windowed
limo's driver-side back door with Wendell's lifeless body.
At the door Al stops and Sellnick leaves Sherry long enough
to open it. Then Al lays Wendell's body out on the FRONT-
FACING REAR SEAT as Sellnick returns to Sherry's side.
Al comes back out, then Sellnick moves Sherry forward and
into the REAR-FACING SEAT opposite the body. Photographers
and news cameras record every moment.
WENDELL (CONT'D)
To Dr. Carl Melville, at the Death
and Dying Center, I leave my sincere
thanks for advising me to flaunt
convention while I still could. I
only managed to do that a few times,
but it made a heck of a difference.
To Milt Kaiser and Arnold Craven, I
leave a strong admonition to learn
to care about more than the things
you invest in. Life is impersonal
enough as it is, don't you think?
Last, but by no means least...to my
'secret' love I leave all my books
...and the very best thoughts and
feelings a man can have for a woman.
(chokes up)
Remember when I told you I was doing
this to reach for the stars...just
once before I go? Well, you were the
only star I ever wanted to reach...
with my entire heart and soul.
(chokes up more)
I thank you all for making my death
such a once-in-a-lifetime occasion.
Wendell's MONOLOGUE wraps up as Sherry and Sellnick take
their seats opposite his body laid out in the limo's back
seat. It ends with Al CLOSING the rear door.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
112.
EXT. BACK ALLEY (ANGLE ON DRIVER'S SIDE OF LIMO) -- NIGHT
Al moves up to the driver's side door. He opens it, to the
surprise of the DRIVER, whose hand is on the ignition switch.
Al looks down at the startled man with his aviator cap and
goggles still in place. He speaks normally.
AL
Hop out, friend. I'm driving my buddy
to be cremated.
DRIVER
But...you can't do that!
Al reaches in and YANKS the driver out from behind the wheel.
People nearby move back as Al takes his place.
AL
Sure I can! See how easy it is?
Al starts the engine and puts it in gear.
AL (CONT'D)
Don't worry, my friend! I used to do
this for a living. I'll return it to
you in perfect shape.
He drives away, leaving the driver and the crowd behind.
INT. THE LIMO -- NIGHT
As they exit the alleyway and turn out onto the street, Al
breaks into a booming, near-hysterical LAUGH. Sellnick quickly
joins him with convulsive GIGGLING.
Sherry looks at both men as if they have lost their minds,
then she glances down at Wendell's body and SCREAMS. He is
slowly drawing himself upright to a sitting position with
his arms extended, like a typical movie ghoul or zombie.
Sherry needs a few seconds to recover her senses enough to
demand an answer--in a TONE that makes clear she means it.
SHERRY
What is going on? You're not dead!
WENDELL
(like Boris Karloff)
We're...running...away!
SHERRY
What?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
113.
Joining Al and Sellnick LAUGHING, Wendell turns his wrists
and starts PEELING off his bloody "wounds" as he explains.
WENDELL
I once read...how to make these!
Ketchup...and...rubber cement!
Sherry's eyes narrow in righteous outrage. She LEAPS forward
into Wendell's seat and begins furiously BODY PUNCHING him.
He has to stop laughing to ward off her blows.
SHERRY
You jerk! Why didn't you tell me?
WENDELL
It had to look convincing!
SHERRY
But you broke my heart!
WENDELL
I had to so we could get away by
ourselves! I don't want to spend my
last few days with a camera crew
following us around--do you?
She stops punching but is still quite steamed.
SHERRY
Who says I'll go anywhere with you?
WENDELL
Are you saying you won't?
Knowing she's checkmated, she allows a faint smile.
SHERRY
Where are we supposed to be going?
WENDELL
Right now, to a money-lender Doc
knows so we can get a bankroll of
cash. After that, I'll put on my
best CIA 'masterspy' disguise and
we'll go straight to the airport.
SELLNICK
Leaving Al and me to make sure
everyone believes he's dead and
reduced to ashes.
SHERRY
And from the airport...?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
114.
Wendell slips an arm around her shoulders while looking at
her with all the affection he can muster.
WENDELL
Just where I told you: one of those
places that do sex-change operations.
Now grinning and misty-eyed, she moves to kiss him.
SHERRY
Male or female, alive or dead, I
love you, Wendell Mobley.
EXT. REAR VIEW OF LIMO DRIVING ALONG -- NIGHT
Wendell and Sherry's silhouettes kissing are barely visible
through the darkened rear window.
SLOW DISSOLVE TO:
SOFT, QUIET SOUNDS OF WAVES LAPPING TO AND FRO ON SAND.
EXT. A CARIBBEAN BEACH (BRIGHT SUNSHINE) -- DAY
An isolated villa sits among palm trees less than 100 yards
from the water's edge. Wendell and Sherry lay flat on beach
lounge chairs set only a few feet from the lapping water.
He lays on his back, facing the sun, his hands locked behind
his head. He wears dark sunglasses. She lays on her stomach,
her face turned away from him. Her sunglasses are shoved up
in her hair, which is curly from drying after being wet.
Both are very tan and fit-looking, and as they lay there
they are exactly as they appear: exceptionally relaxed.
WENDELL
How long have I been dead now?
Sherry stirs from somnolence, props up on her elbows, and
lifts her head to turn to face him before replying.
SHERRY
We've been here three weeks...so
you've been dead...more than a week.
(a beat)
How does it feel?
WENDELL
It's not as bad as it's cracked up
to be. I could almost recommend it.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
115.
Sherry playfully whacks him on the arm.
SHERRY
What do you mean, 'almost'?
She settles herself flat once more, this time facing toward
him, eyes closed. A few seconds pass, then he speaks again.
WENDELL
Want to know the most interesting
thing I've discovered about it?
Drowsy again, Sherry speaks without opening her eyes.
SHERRY
Tell me.
WENDELL
God is definitely a woman.
Her eyes don't open and her head doesn't lift, but her mouth
pulls into a huge grin as she reaches out a hand for him to
grasp. They hold hands between their lounge chairs as....
"Dreams" by The Cranberries comes up on the SOUNDTRACK and
the CREDITS ROLL as the CAMERA lifts up, up, and away....
FADE OUT:
THE END
All Original Material Copyright 2007
© Lloyd Pye